Dongeng Tidur

kenangan

2009-10-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

Sebuah kenangan manis..

Dikala dunia menjadi begitu sempit..
Dikala waktu menjadi begitu singkat..

Sesaat sebelum kepergian ku..
60 days to go..

i do like to under-estimate today

2009-03-27T04:40:00.000-07:00

Today there was a guest speaker from UNESCO..
his speech was really inspirational..
one of the things he said that i cant get out from my head is that people do like to over-exaggerate yesterday, over-estimate tomorrow and under-estimate today..
well..
i am one of those people..
i do like to over-exaggerate yesterday.. the good old days he said.. living in past memories..
i do also like to over-estimate tomorrow.. making promises to my self that i will do lots of things tomorrow.. keep delaying to do some works.. keep saying to my self.. i will do it tomorrow..
and yes i do like to under-estimate today.. and always says "entar dulu ah".. or in english.. "i will do it later".. like now.. i still don;t want to work.. because i have wasted another day.. and i don;t feel like working.. keep saying tomorrow i will wake up early, and start working.. but tonight.. lets watch one movie..

oh well...
it is who i am..
a deadliners...

a wish

2009-03-15T01:59:00.000-07:00

i wish i can capture every moment we spent...
and remember every second precisely..
because i realize our time is getting shorter and shorter..

if i am

2009-02-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

if i am the dream life partner you always wanted,
why can't i take over the role of your dream girl in her

spectator

2009-02-13T04:16:00.000-08:00

mereka bergandeng tangan
mereka bertengkar
mereka hancur
mereka kembali berjalan bersama

i'm not a participant
i'm just simply a spectator

karma

2009-01-25T05:28:00.000-08:00

it feels like just few days ago me and him talk about emails from other student that lost their atm..
we said "how could they forget to take their atm card? it doesn't make sense! if you lost your wallet it can be understand.. but loosing only atm card???"
and we keep making fun of it..

but then..
just yesterday i did what we called as stupid mistake..

yep..
i lost my atm card..

as i remember.. last time i use it was on friday, 2pm..
when i try to rewind my memory on to that time, i was not in a hurry..
and i think i put the atm card back to my wallet, because i also put the money in..
and yesterday afternoon im going to take some money and just realize that the card is not there..
it feels like my heart stopped..
and then i'm panic..

first thing i did was rushing to the bank and print my bank book..
but how unlucky i am, because my bank book run out of pages..
so i can't check my last balance..

finally after calming down my self i called the customer service..
and surprisingly, they have excellent english which is really rare in this country..
so, they've canceled my card, and thank God the balance is still the same..

next thing to do in the morning is go to the bank and make new card..
which will cost me 300baht..
hiiiks..

is it a karma?
i don't think so, because we shouldnt believe in karma, right?
but the lesson learn is don't say anyone is fool because you might also be like them someday..
so i take my words back..
people who loosing their atm card is not a fool

something wrong

2009-01-19T18:03:00.000-08:00

yesterday i saw a smile in your face,
one time, yes, only one time,
and it is not because of of..

i've tried to make you draw another curve in your face,
but i failed.

i know there is something wrong..
i keep asking but ended up with no answer..

why i keep everything for your self..
can't you share anything anymore with me..
why i can't be the one who can make you smile..
make you feel comfort..
why i can't make any different in you like what you did to me..

hunting duren

2009-01-18T19:58:00.000-08:00

Setelah bergabung sejenak di rapat permitha,
akhirnya saya melarikan diri bersama gerombolan lainnya..

sasarannya adalah hunting duren..

karna belum musimnya, makhluk bernama duren sangat sulit ditemui..
padahal kalo lagi membludak di kantin kampus pun ada..

datanglah tawaran untuk mencari keberadaan duren di pasar induk dekat kampus..
tawaran yang sungguh menggiurkan bila dibandingkan dengan rapat yang.. begitulah...

setelah menggoes sepeda cukup jauh, dan tak lupa NGANGKAT sepedah di jembatan penyebrangan, nyampe juga kami disana..
ketemu lah tempat jualan duren..
banyaaaaaak durennya..
tapi sayangnya tak ada yang suk suk mak mak.. alias mateng..

tapi ketemu juga satu duren yang agak mateng..
lumayan, dari pada pulang dengan tangan kosong..
duren kami beli dengan harga 25baht per kilo buat yang belum dikupas,
sedangkan yang udah dikupas gak tau juga perkilo nya berapa..

setelah memborong duren dengan total harga 260baht, kami ber9 pun nongkring menghabiskan duren dengan kalapnya..
itung2 mengisi perut dan mengisi energi untuk ngegoes sepedah balik kekampus..
badan sudah hangat..
sudah sanggup ngebut menghindari anjing2 yang menggonggong dan siap mengejar.. hehehe

akhirnya tau juga tempat jual duren di talad thai..
wi hiiii...

salam hangat dari kami ber9 dan dari si ibu2 penjual duren (yang mejeng paling depan)

i dont want

2009-01-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

why can't you understand that i don't want to..
and keep making excuses..

why you need to ask me directly in front of other..
i think you know the answer why.
yes... because it is for me and you. and not for others.

i don't want..
full stop.

bastard

2009-01-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

I cant stop thinking,
What everyone else will think if they found out about us,
and the story about our game.

"you darn lucky bastard"

maybe.

apple

2009-01-15T18:31:00.000-08:00

it is not the apple of adam and eve
it is ours

thanks yaar..

drink it

2009-01-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

you said you are not an alcoholic drinker..
but i know you are..

yes, you are not suppose to drink any kind of alcohol..
but i know that white wine is your favorite..

you can't resist the temptation of drinking white wine..
you will always look for one..
and a sip of sparkling white wine can always brightened up you day..

however, only a glass of red wine is served in front of you,
every day..
you also like it..
you enjoy it..
but when you come to your senses that you are not allowed to drink..
you can stop your self..
but you will again take it after..

so dear,
don't claim your self as not an alcoholic drinker..
because you know you drink that white wine even when you said you wont..
i don't need to ask to know..

and i will give you a glass of red wine every day..
oh yes i will..
even though i know it is a glass of sparkling white wine that you are yearning for..
because deep down i hope you will also taste the wine i gave

told ya

2009-01-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

You can call me heart-less,
or a numb person,
but i'm sorry, i have no regrets..

i really do like it..

roti lapis

2009-01-11T01:37:00.000-08:00

thank you for playing..
and be a sandwich..

i really do thankful..

We will do better..
And try to stay clean..

full moon

2009-01-09T07:30:00.000-08:00

I look at the sky..
There is a full moon..
Shining really bright in the pathumthani sky..

Is it a sign of the new beginning?
Is it represent the optimism of a clean new chapter of our lives?

But..
Can we really wash our dirty hands,
Like nothing wrong ever happen?

Saturday, January 10th 2009
3 am sharp

dirty water

2009-01-08T03:00:00.000-08:00

You ask me:
"Why do you want to play in dirty water?"

Dear,
I am not a saint that playing in dirty water..
Don;t get fooled by the clarity it shows.
The pure look-a-like water has undefined taste.
It is not a lean water.
It never is.

I am me.
Don't think that what u did is for my best interest.
Because for me, it is not making any good.
It destroys me.

Don't decide what is right and wrong for me.
Just let me be me.

An idiom

2008-11-29T04:29:00.000-08:00

Dear,

It is just like telling you that it hurts when you hit me

And you said that you like to hit, and it is just you, and you can't change, you don't want to change

On the other hand, I am no one, not a person that can ask you to change your self

I know it hurts, but i'm too much care for you to leave you

Then you keep hitting me

and i keep being hurt

until one day, i die

people can call me stupid for keep being with you, but it is a choice in life that i will never regret

I think now i can understand how the victims of domestic violance think

And NO, i'm not being violanced by anyone

a trilogy books, can i?

2008-11-23T03:25:00.000-08:00

this year i feel like my life has suddenly transformed into a soap opera.

and again my ambition to write a novel rises..

i start to imagine how it will be..

(well, i think it can be divided into three books.. a trilogy )

i started to make the chapter titles..

but if i really want to accomplish it i should work hard..

because last time i fail.. just lost my desire to write on the way.. maybe because at that time that story was just too hurtful..

now lets see what will happen next..

wish me luck guys..

out of my mind

2008-11-17T14:18:00.000-08:00

My mind filled with crazy things, crazy minds.

Then i read these phrases and can't let it go from my mind.

"To love someone is instinct

To be love by someone is luck

To live with someone you love is achievement

To live with someone who loves you is life"

Well,

I have the instinct, but maybe my luck is not yet come

I have achieve the thing, but still waiting for a life

Oh life.

Me, wondering how the future will be

Harder

2008-10-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

blushed

2008-10-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

my dear,

you make me blushed again...

toooooo sweet!

duh kirain kenapa tiba2 pegang2 tangan eik...

hehehe

malam bainay

2008-10-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

kisah ini sebenernya terjadi udah lama, tepatnya malam idul fitri kemaren..

yep, sudah 22 hari berlalu..

gak papa ya.. meski itung mundur.. hehehe

apa yang terjadi ketika dua orang yang romantis dan keras kepala berpadu?

begitu judul asli yang tadinya mau ditulis.

tapi karna satu dan lain hal, maka 'terpaksa' terjadi perubahan judul

begini awalnya..
sejak beberapa hari sebelom lebaran, kangmas uda nyuruh2 saya buat mau dikenalin sama temennya, perempuan, buat dipakein mehndi..

apa itu mehndi?
itu adalah seperti henna (memang henna) yang diaplikasikan pada tangan dan kaki..
seperti ini contohnya..
kalo gambar disebelah ini adalah aplikasi mehndi buat ditangan..

balik ke cerita..
kata kangmas, dinegara asalnya, di malam idul fitri ada festival yang bernama chand raat..

"'Chand Raat' means 'night of the moon' in the Urdu language that marks the end of Ramadan and the start of Eid ul Fitr"..

itu definisi yang saya dapat setelah bertanya pada mbah gugel..

Dimalam itu para perempuan biasa mengaplikasikan mehndi ke sesama..

"Chand raat simply means "moon night", it can also mean a night with a full moon. It is a time of celebration when families and friends gather in open areas at the end of the last day of Ramadan to spot the new moon, which signals the arrival of the Islamic month of Shawwal and the day of Eid. Once the moon is sighted, people wish each other Chaand Raat Mubarak ("Have a blessed night of the new moon") or Eid Mubarak ("Blessings of the Eid day"). Women and girls decorate their hands with mehndi (henna), and people prepare desserts for the next day of Eid and do the last round of shopping." (Mbah Wiki)

karena sebelomnya si kangmas membawakan saya satu tube mehndi yang langsung diimpor dari negeri seribu pakis itu,
jadi dia keukeuh sumarkekeuh ingin memperkenalkan seni ini ke saya..dengan menjodohkan saya dengan temannya..
akhirnya saya cuman bisa bilang "oke deh mas.."

tapi ternyata Tuhan punya rencana lain..
cieeeeh...

temannya tentu sudah punya rencana sendiri dong..
wong ini saat mereka merayakan bersama teman2 lain kok..
ya sud.. gagal lah rencana kangmas...

setelah malam itu kami agak bersitegang (halah bahasanya) dan berselisih paham serta berpundung2an karna hal2 yang ga penting..
saya punya rencana pingin bikin serprais buat si akang..
jadilah saya mulei mencari2 pattern yang bagus dan bisa saya apply sendiri..
tentu dengan kemampuan dan pengalaman saya yang nol besar..

kenapa saya ikutan kekeuh ingin mengaplikasikan mehndi?
karna this is a once in a life opportunity..

taun depan jelas saya tidak bersama kangmas lagi.. (trying to be realistic )
jadi kapan lagi coba saya bisa make ni mehndi dan memperlihatkannya pada kangmas..

setelah nemu design yang lumayan (lumayan bagus dan lumayan ga sulit tentunya )
saya mulei membuat pola ditangan kiri dengan menggunakan stabilo kuning..
setelah itu saya mulai menggoreskan mehndi pertama..

deg deg an... takut salah...

setelah puas dengan bentuk awalnya, saya goreskan mehndi kedua...

tiba2 telepon genggam saya berdering...

ternyata kangmas yang menelpon.. dan dia sudah dibawah rumah saya..

kageeeeet...

dengan sebelah tangan saya berusaha berpakaian yang lebih decent..

setelah itu saya turun kebawah..

disana kangmas menunggu dan langsung mengajak saya untuk ikut ke kamarnya...

saya kira dia mengajak karna berhubungan dengan sesuatu yang kami perdebatkan sebelumnya...

kemudian saya berkata "gak bisaa..."

dan mengutarakan berbagai alasan..

salah satunya adalah udah kemaleman..

ya iya lah..

waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 2 pagi, sedangkan saya harus bangun jam 5 untuk bersiap menghadiri solat idul fitri di KBRI..

lalu dia berbalik dan bersiap pulang..

ntah kenapa tapi yang saya tangkep dia rada gimanaaa gitu..

akhirnya saya pegang tangannya, dan saya tunjukkanlah dua goresan yang sebelumnya saya buat dengan perasaan tak menentu (halah)..

kemudian saya berkata "saya tidak bisa ketempat mu.. karna ini belum selesai..." dan berusaha memberikan senyum termanis untuknya...

dia hanya tersenyum simpul dan berkata.. "okei"

kemudian pergi lah dia..

ternyata eh ternyata,

dia punya rencana lain buat saya, yang tentunya dia jadi kecewa..

untung saat itu saya berinisiatip menelpon dia, dan entah kenapa saya kekeuh mau dateng kesana..

ditempatnya lah saya baru tau kalo dia sudah mempersiapkan sesuatu..

ternyata dia ingin kami mengoreskan henna itu bersama..

karna satu tangan saya telah selesai berbalur, saya merajuk dia untuk mengerjakan tangan lainnya..

akhirnya saya berhasil sodara2...

tebak, mana yang buatan saya dan mana yang buatan dia

satu kalimat dia yang membuat saya bahagia..

katanya saya sudah menggantikan sebuah posisi yang sangat penting baginya..

one more point for me!!!

egoist

2008-10-21T19:35:00.000-07:00

this is what happen when two egoist met..

luckily both of us have different form of egoist..
the first one is egoist in a sense of having a really high ego, an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others
and the second is egoist in a sense of a conceited and self-centered person who concern about herself and her own needs, but don't have any ego if it's related with the first person

I realize you have ego more than an average man..
but i didn't learn my lessons well..
and i can't stop regretting that i've smashed your ego to the ground..

i know you need some time..
and i know the time you need may be endless..
well, you've wasted three months from you most valuable friend,
i can't imagine how much the time you can wasted from the time we might have..
but endless time is what we don't have..
and i am toooo selfish to let you go away from me..
and i don't have any ego if it concern with you..
that is why i keep trying and trying..
head over heels..
and hoping that you can compromised your ego with me..

aku bagai angin pantai..
yang tak jemu jemu membelai batu karang..

i really appreciate your effort to compromising..
even when you said it is not because what i did,
i don't care..
as long as you don't go..
be with me, my coral reef..

i am just an ordinary girl,
who wants to enjoy the leisure of next door neighbor Mercedes
that has really comfort seats and cool air condition
i know i can't to buy one, at least not now
but i believe i will have one, even though most probably it can't be the same type
just wait and see where the destiny brings me to

roller coaster

2008-10-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

I really do think that this is the first time i ever being in a roller coaster like relationship

Everytime i over-enjoyed, something happen, and it destroyed..

But we always able to attached all parts together again..

But until when?

My feeling is not pure gold nor diamond,

It is diamond covered with gold..

when it breaks, i can be melted and reshaped,

the diamond parts wil be broke in to pieces..

and everytime it breaks, it became smaller and smaller pieces..

but it always there..

each time it breaks, it become more and more combined with the gold,

make the golden bar more shiny..

So i guess, it will always be like that until the end

you are my everything.

i gave you my everything.

no need to have doubt on me.

pavements

2008-10-12T16:48:00.000-07:00

i was on the pavements that i always yearning for,

but now i should move on, by force,

life, oh life..

hentikan

2008-10-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

saya ingin dapat menghentikan waktu..

melupakan semua hiruk pikuk yang memburu..

dan hanya menghabiskan waktu dengan mu..

sigh..

setooooop!

kerja vs kuliah

2008-10-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

saat ini saya benar2 ingin bekerja..

saya tak ingin kuliah!!!!!!!!!

enak kalo kerja..

kao bosen tinggal cabut..

bisa pulang kerumah tanpa ada kerjaan apa2...

aaaaaaaah!!!!

i fed up with this thesis thingy!

jealousy

2008-10-06T02:51:00.000-07:00

i wish i can tell you how happy i am when you asked a simple question tonight...

"with whom did you go to taladnat?"

with my friends..

"which friends?"

my indonesian friends..

"who are they?"

mas sigit.. nino...

"boys?"

hmmm.. 3 boys and 3 girls..

why?

"nothing, just asking"..

a little bit jealous i assume?

kikikik..

me, again in the mood of counting how many days left that i can spend with you..

i don't wanna go home..

contemplating

2008-09-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Another year has passed..
Getting older
And having less time to be spent in this world

I think it is the time to contemplate
Time to look back
Look on what I have been doing to my self until today
I should start to make decision
Making up my mind
Making up my heart
I know I should go out from this circle that has no end.. sooner or later
I don’t know can I go
I don’t know do I really want to go

But I do learn one thing today
That I shall not have any expectation
And also no hopes and wishes
Trust me, it is more safe that way

Happy birthday my dear me..
You are one more step closer to the maturity

suasana ramadhan

2008-09-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

berawal dari anto yang berbagi sebuah link di plurk..
tentang poto2 suasana ramadhan diseluruh belahan dunia..
dari sekian banyak poto itu, 4 (kalo ga salah itung) dari indo..
jujur, poto2 nya menakjubkan..
makanya saya ingin berbagi disini..

foto pertama dari indonesia yang saya paling suka adalah tentang suasana solat jumat di mesjid istiqlal..
kita kadang suka lupa (saya lebih tepatnya) betapa besar mesjid ini..
dan betapa ia bisa menampung sebegini banyak orang..
Photo by: Irwin Fedriansyah

foto kedua adalah gambar seorang perempuan yang sedang mengaji di mesjid istiqlal..
sudut pengambilan gambarnya bagus kalo menurut saya mah (sok tau fotografi )
berikut lah gambarnya..
Photo by: Adek Berry
beranjak ke foto ketiga dari negara kita..
tentang gambar seorang anak laki2 yang tertidur didalam mesjid sambil nunggu waktunya berbuka..
kalo yang ini diambil dari sebuah mesjid di Makasar sana..
menggemaskan banget deeeeh..
terus poto ini juga cucok buat iklan cairan pembersih lantai
Photo by: Yusuf Ahmad

nah beranjak kita dari negeri tercinta..
poto pertama dari mancanegara yang saya suka banget..
sebuah penampakan sunset yang dengan latar depan (karna sunsetnya jadi latar belakang) Faisal Mosque, di Islamabad, Pakistan..
Photo by: Wally Santana.
gambar kedua adalah masih dari negeri seribu pakis.. (hihihi)
tepatnya dari kota Lahore,
gambar minuman berbuka mereka..
yang kebayang adalah sirop tjempolay campur susu
Photo by: Arif Ali

foto ketiga masih lagi2 dari negeri yang sama..
tentang makanan berbuka mereka yang disiapkan oleh seorang anak, dengan lokasi di Memon Mosque, Karachi.
yang saya bingung... apa itu porsi buat seorang?
kok tampak buanyak banget yaaa..
Photo by: Athar Hussain

Selanjutnya sebuah foto yang didedikasikan buat niken alias mbee..
yang menggambarkan tumpukan pisang!!
hehehe..
katanya permintaan akan pisang meningkat dibulan Ramadhan ini..
apa hubungannya kah?
tapi saya juga jadi rajin beli pisang di bulan ini..
buat ngeganjel kalo saurnya kurang kenyang
Still from Pakistan, Ismlamabad..
Photo by:Farooq Naeem

Nah foto yang terakhir pilihan saya jatuh pada negeri Palestina, tepatnya di daerah West Bank City, Ramallah.
tampilan seorang anak perempuan yang sedang melaksanakan taraweh..
tapi heran kok sendirian..
agak ga natural sih..
berasa diset gitu..
cuman saya mah teteup suka
Photo by: Muhammed Muheissen

Silahkan kalau ingin melihat2 lebih banyak poto bisa langsung ke alamat ini.

And let us spread the spirit of the holy month..

reality strikes back

2008-09-21T05:29:00.000-07:00

this early morning, i've tried to deny the reality for i don't know how many times..
pretending that i am in different situation..
that he is someone that he is not...
and we live in a different world and not the real one..
i am trying not to care for others but me..
yes, i am being selfish as always..

but tonight the reality strikes again..
and make me realize that even how hard you've try to deny the reality..
it is still a reality..
reality, something that is real..
and it's ready to hits you when whenever you are not alert of it..
at your most unprepared moment..

today, reality wins from imaginer, K.O.

but hey, i am still learning to be a grown up..
i will be fine..
and i believe you will too..

welcome to this world.. the heartfruit of my love..

if

2008-09-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

what if, what if, what if..
keep thinking what if..
but what if never comes..

gak suka, gak suka!

2008-09-04T04:43:00.000-07:00

saya paling ga suka kalo nanya trus ga dijawap..
apalagi buat pertanyaan yang gak esensial..
yang ga segitu personalnya buat dirahasiain dan sebenernya juga gak segitu pentingnya buat dijawap..

just a simple question like:
"mau pada kemanakah?" (cara ngomong bahasa indo ala orang thai)
atooo:
"eeeeh lagi ngomongin apa barusan?"

tapi kalo pertanyaan yang ga penting itu dijawap dengan kalimat:
"ada deeeeh"
or worst dengan:
"kasi tau gak yaaaa"
itu bikin bete ga ketulungan..

apalagi saya tau sebenernya those people who did that aforementioned things only do that to tease me..
but still..
masalah lu apa sih???!

*pundungan and sensitive mode ON, akibat kurang tidur dan setres yang berkepanjangan*

tua vs muda

2008-09-04T04:30:00.000-07:00

ada bedanya istri tua sama istri muda?

kalo menurut saya istri tua mendapat lebih banyak untuk bersama..
istilahnya more quality time..
trus juga serve lebih banyak..
tau lebih banyak...
dan semuanya lebih deh..

tapi istri muda dapet pasion..
and that sparkling feeling of called love buttefly..

kenapa saya lagi berasa jadi istri tua ya?????????
i spent more time with him than her..
and he ask for it..
i know him more than her..
i understand him more than her..
even when he didnt say it out loud..
she even jealous when she sees us together..
sometimes i cant make my self stop wonder,
how we will end if you dont have him..
will you still be with her?

tapi ya gimana.. i enjoy being his "istri tua"...
dan ada saat2 dimana saya berasa emang butuh dia..
terutama kayak sekarang..
dimana teman2 yang lain culas dan menyebalkan...
when those who i called friends keep doing things that i dont like..

him is the place where i can run into..
and just dipped my face into his back..
trying my best not to cry..

sigh..

if i have to choose between him and my friends here..
i definitely will choose him..
because he really know how to treat me right..
and he never deny me..

sigh..

why it had to be you?

reality

2008-09-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

Quote of the day:

"In life there are a lot of big romantic moments..
And they make life worth living..
But moments pass..
And lurking just around the corner from those moments is a cruel, unshaven bastard named reality."

-taken from How I met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 13..

hand-coke

2008-08-30T02:56:00.000-07:00

a bottle of coke has saved me..
i never love coke this much before in my whole life..
now im on my way to finish my 1.5 liter of coke

munggah puasa with coke..

amazingly

2008-08-30T02:05:00.000-07:00

it is amazing how i can survive this day..
watching you holding her hand..
watching you hugging her shoulder..
watching you throwing jokes to her..
watching you teasing her..
watching you wishpering words to her ears..
watching you planning your future dreams with her..
and watching your eyes staring her eyes deeply..
watching you both..

it is amazing how i can still smile..
sincerely..

it is amazing how i can accept the fact that you will never be mine..
yes, i know you will never be mine..
i realize that i only had you in that precious moment we spent together..
when you really give your heart to me..
or are you really?
and when another fact raise up this evening,
that i am really not having yours.. really making me realize that i will never be with you..
i keep watching your back.. walking in front of me.. next to her..
and i know there is no way back for you, for her, for him, and for me..

i keep repeating that magical moment i spent with you in my mind..
i keep visualizing it over and over again..
until i remember every minutes and even every second we spent..
when the world is all ours..
when we dont care about others than we..
when i still keep believing that
it couldnt be her..
and it couldnt be yours..

but it is her..
and it is yours..
and they will have you for the rest of their lives..
and not me..

it is feels like im babysitting two grown ups (quoting you, min)
and i keep saying that this is enough..
and i dont want any of this again..
but i cant..
i cant get away from this melodrama telenovela thingy..

oh God..
what have i made my self trapped into..
sigh..

gold versus diamond

2008-08-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

a friend of mine once said that friend is like gold while love is like diamond..
and then i asked:
"so, is it mean that your love is more precious than your friend"

he replied:
"noooooooooo....
the meaning is when a friendship breaks, you can fix it.. just like gold.. when it breaks, you can melt it and have the same shape.
while if your love relationship breaks, your heart break, or you break your love's heart, it will be like diamond.. you wont be able to re-attach into the same form without leaving any mark.. even though it looks the same from outside, still there are some cracks inside.."

i am sorry for breaking your diamond..

FINISH

2008-08-27T02:02:00.000-07:00

all finish..
everybody happy...
let's see mars in the sky today..

some..

2008-08-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

some people really waiting for this, even for years..
some are forcely wanting it..
and some really dont want it..

i am not one of them..
but why cant i have a regular one..

threesome

2008-08-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

i did what i think is right..
i lied for the last time..
and hoping this lie can bring her back to him..

yes, i think it is the best, for him, for her, and for me..
finally, i end this relationship..

three is never good..

pelangi dilangit ait

2008-08-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

beberapa waktu yang lalu saya pernah posting soal pelangi mbulat..
ternyata hari ini saya diberi kesempatan untuk menyaksikannya secara langsung di langit ait..
berkat jasa seorang teman yang tiba2 mengirimkan pesan singkat dilayar leptop saya menyuruh saya untuk melihat kematahari di langit luar..

dan disana terpampanglah sebuah pelangi mbulat..
mengelilingi sang matahari dengan lingkaran yang sempurna..
namun matahari sedang bersinar dengan sangat cerahnya, membuat cukup sulit menikmati keberadaan sang pelangi..

apakah ini tanda bahwa pelangi saya pun sudah muncul dari mendung yang sebelumnya mengelayut?

well, i'm affraid not..

hancur

2008-08-21T04:01:00.000-07:00

melihat dia hancur menyadarkan saya bahwa langkah yang saya ambil salah..
meski saya akui memang sudah niat saya menghancurkan hubungan itu, tapi tetap saya masih punya hati nurani..
apalagi ketika saya harus memilih antara hati mereka yang hancur atau hati saya yang hancur..
feels like two against one..
i'm glad it's not about democracy..
but still..

God, You know what is best for me, for him, for her, for all of us..
please lead us to the right path of Yours..

my human feelings..

2008-08-21T03:06:00.000-07:00

when my love one is hurted, and feel crushed,
all i want to do is cure him..
even though it hurts me.. more then he was hurted before..
why, love, oh why..

sigh...

2008-08-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

lately i have a bad habit..
i create a thinking that everytime we spent is our last time..
and that thinking has bad impact on me..
sigh...
i'm not suppose to think like that..
and i'm not suppose to give you my everything..
isn't it?
sigh...

my fruit

2008-08-19T03:55:00.000-07:00

biasalah, kalo lagi mo fokus ke kerjaan (aka thesis) selalu aja ada yang lebih penting buat dikerjain..
salah satunya ya apa lagi kalo bukan ngerjain kuis kuisan

untuk kuis yang ini saya gak bisa ngasih linknya..
karena ini termasuk kuis yang ada di facebook..

pertanyaan kuisnya begini:
What kind of fruit are you?

dan setelah menjawab beberapa pertanyaan, ini lah jawaban tipe buah saya:

I'm Banana!
You are a softie! Loving, gentle, warm and sympathetic by nature is the banana lover. You often lack in self-confidence and are quite timid by nature. People often take advantage of your sweet temperedness, and sheer vulnerability to a situation. You adore your partner both for their mental and physical beauty! Your relationship is always in harmony!

and yes.. i do like banana! any kind of it..

reality

2008-08-17T04:23:00.000-07:00

reality sucks..
reality hurts..

ความเป็นจริง:หมองใจ

perasaan

2008-08-14T03:22:00.000-07:00

perasaan kapasitas perut saya mengecil..
tapi kenapa kok perasaan perut ini mangkin buncit ya..
sigh..
apa mulai perlu rangkaian sit ap lagi?

berondong girang

2008-08-13T05:07:00.000-07:00

belakangan ini suka ada yang miskol2 ke nomer hape indo saya..
yang ada saya gak tau nomor si empunya miskol siapa, wong dibilangnya pasti private number lah, no number lah, withheld lah.. begitu lah..
gemes banget rasanya!
gak tau apa kalo saya gak akan ngangkat, soalnya bakal kena biaya yang besarnya saya juga gak tau..
rugi banget deh pokoknya!
penasaran? banget!
siapa coba yang begitu setianya menelponi diriku..
bodohnya lagi kenapa juga dia gak kirim sms.. udah tau saya tidak bisa dihubungi..

naaaah, ternyata rasa penasaran saya ini emang gak kontrol banget!
akhirnya barusan saya angkat aja tu telpon..
dan ternyata si penelpon bener2 cuman pengen miskol..
dan akhirnya dia ngsms..

sialnya lagi sms pertama dibuka dengan kalimat "Met ml..btul ini dngn tante girang?"
udah mau emosi sebenernya.. tapi saya masu khusnudzon..
mungkin aja ini temen saya yang lagi ngerjain..
akhirnya saya jabanin deh ni sms..

sms punya sms, ternyata..
dia itu berondong dengan usia 19 tahun!!!!
dan yang lebih parahnya lagi..
bocah lelaki asal KENDARI ini mengharapkan saya bisa menjadi teman curhatnya..

sumpah..
saya langsung ketawa terpingkal2..
emang hari gini masi ada aja ya orang2 yang mau ngeladenin sms kayak beginian?
unbelievable!!

[hilang deh jatah ngsms saya buat bulan ini.. sigh!]

dikerumuni orang orang aneh

2008-08-10T03:10:00.000-07:00

Caution: Ketika membaca postingan ini beberapa orang mungkin akan berpikiran kalo saya orangnya suka kege eran.. Ya abis gimana.. Suka2 dong ya.. Kalo gak suka ya gak usah dibaca..

Jadi begini ceritanya,
saya baru sadar kenapa nasip saya jelek bener..
bukannya tidak mesyukuri anugerah sang maha pencipta, tapi entah sejak kapan saya ini ternyata bagai magnet yang menarik orang2 aneh.. Sampe kadang saya jadi males sendiri..
Saya akan memberikan tiga contoh kongkrit..

pengalaman pertama dengan orang aneh saya alami beberapa tahun yang lalu..
waktu itu saya lagi ikut training (bahasa gaul dari pelatihan) di kei el (KL maksutnya).
kebetulan waktu itu ternyata ada training lain yang diselenggarakan pada saat yang sama.
disanalah saya mengenal A (bukan nama asli.. ya iya laaah, masa ya iya dong! ). A adalah pria berkewarganegaraan Bhutan dengan penampakan seperti orang Cina campur vietnam (nah looo..).. kebetulan dia tidak satu training dengan saya, tapi ntah kenapa dia demen banget sama saya!
Awalnya biasa, permainan Princess (karna nama saya putri) dan Prince. Jadi dia ngaku2 kalo dia itu prince of Bhutan dan saya ini Princessnya..
Awalnya sih lucu2an aja (paling gak buat saya, gak tau buat dia gimana), tapi kok lama2 dianya serius, ampe ngomongin nikah segala..
mampus gw! padahal kan waktu itu saya masih kecil (kikikik)..
untungnya saya selese treining duluan dan sukses kabur dari prince of bhutan ini..

nah buat pengalaman kedua ini rada baru..
sekitar akhir juni kemaren..
yup, waktu lagi ikutan jalan2 ikut camp ke Chantaburi..
bertemu lah saya disana dengan seorang pria asal usbek..
sebenernya pertemuan kami sudah sejak agak lama, namun saya tidak bisa berkata bahwa pertemuan itu adalah sebuah perkenalan.. karena jujur aja saya gak kenal sama dia..
dulu awalnya dia lagi jalan sama ketua msa asal paki ini (muslim student association) yang notabene orangnya rada gak terlalu setrik gitu (yah meski berjenggot panjang dan bercelana ngatung tapi dia masi mau menatap dan menyapa para sister ini)..
nah si ketua msa itu tau kalo saya ini muslim dan dari indo, jadilah dia waktu itu menyapa "Assalamu'alaikum.. Apa kabar".. gitu katanya..
nah sejak itu si laki-laki usbek ini suka bertukar salam ketika bertemu saya.. "Assalamu'alaikum" katanya, dan saya pun menjawap "Wa'alaikumsalam"..
kadang dia juga suka menambahkan pertanyaan "apa kabar".. mentang2 udah belajar dari sang ketua msa tampaknya..
Nah, di camp inilah dia mulai mengeluarkan jurus keanehannya..
awalnya sih cuman genit2 biasa..
tapi lama2 kok jadi tidak biasa.. malah agak luar biasa..
dan puncaknya adalah ketika dia berkata "i really like indonesian girls, i want to marry one someday"..
saya hanya bisa berkomentar "oooh bagus itu"..
eh dia nyaut lagi "are you tied up?".. langsung sebel dengernya.. lu kira gw kambing apa pake diiket2 segala.. gitu pikir saya dalam hati..
dan parahnya dia nanya pas saya lagi sama kangmas, cuman kangmas waktu itu lagi ngembaliin piring kotor (kan kita abis makan siang ceritanya)..
sayang waktu itu mut saya lagi jelek, jadi cuman bisa melongo denger kata2 dia..
udah gitu mana ada temennya yang gak kalah aneh yang bernama "si kakek" yang dengan tampang genitnya manas2in "net yet, right?".. diulang2 mlulu..
sayang lagi2 karna mut saya kurang bagus saya jadi gak bisa mengeluarkan tanggapan yang gimanaaa gitu..
yang ada saya malah langsung pergi sampe bikin kangmas bertanya2 ada apakah gerangan..

dan keanehannya ni orang usbek gak cuman sampe situ..
dilain waktu, masi di camp yang sama, saya lagi duduk termenung sendirian.. cape boow.. nah si orang aneh ini lagi ngaso di gazebo, sambil nyetel lagu berirama padang pasir pake toa (yup, pake toa, makin aneh gak sih??).. dan dia dengan pedenya manggil2 saya pake toa..
"putri... putriii.." gitu panggilnya..
kan saya males saya cuekin.. eh tiba2 ada temen saya dateng bergabung, langsung deh saya sok sok sibuk ngobrol sama si temen..
eh dia (si orang aneh) marah dong sambil teriak "PUTRA!"..
akhirnya kan saya noleh..
eh dia langsung baek lagi dan bilang "why do you look so sad today.." dan beberapa kalimat lain yang dia ucapkan kayak kumur2 gitu..
booo.. itu masi pake toa lo.. penting ya??
saya cuman bisa tersenyum saja dan meyakinkan diri buat gak ngelempar tu orang pake sendal..
untungnya kalo kita ketemu sekarang dia gak terlalu gimana2 gitu,.. apalagi karna saya selalu berjalan bergerombol.. hihihihi..
paling dia suka ketauan ngeliatin aja..

naaaah..
contoh kongkrit ketiganya baruu aja saya alamin kemaren..
saat itu saya sedang mengabdikan diri buat jadi volunteer buat 'nanganin' anak2 mahasiswa baru di depan sao..
bertemu lah saya dengan seorang pria berkebangsaan B (alias banglades ) yang saat itu juga manjadi relawan..
dari awal saya udah males sama ni orang.. abis genit! baru deh saya ngerasain pengalaman digenitin sama orang b padahal udah sering denger kalo orang b itu genit2..
nah waktu mo dibeliin makan siang saya ditanya sama seorang teman "kamu ada pantangan makan gak?" dan saya pun menjawap "no pok" alias no pork..
nah disini lah orang b itu mulai beraksi "are you muslim?"
dan saya menanggapi "yes" dengan gaya seperlunya aja..
eeeh dia pun menyahut "i really like indonesian muslim"
dan dia mulai senyum2 gak jelas gitu.. sambil setelah itu berusaha melontarkan jokes2 yang gak lucu.. tak lupa dibarengi dengan tatapan genitnya..
saya sangka saya aman ketika saya kabur dengan alasan ada kerjaan lain (thanks to prof amin!)
eeh ternyata sorenya ketemu lagi didepan 108, sebuah convenient store didalam kampus yang bagai circle k gitu.
si pria b ini memakai baju b dengan warna pink terang..
dan dia langsung nyamperin sambil bilang "besok kita sama2 ke airport buat jemput anak baru kan"
dengan polosnya saya menjawap "enggak tuh"
dan dia langsung panik "kok enggak?"
dan saya dengan tenang menjawap "kan saya gak ikutan relawan bagian penjemputan, saya sibuk" deuh gaya bener yaaa..
dan dia langsung dengan muka memelas bilang "yaah.. saya sangka kita bisa menghabiskan waktu berdua disana"
WEEKKK?????
yang bener aje lu!

duh, andaikan saya bisa mengganti magnet ini dengan magnet penarik orang2 ganteng yang saya gemari (hehehe)..
ah, asalkan berbeda kutub dengan magnetnya kangmas gak papa deh
kan dua kutub yang berbeda saling tarik menarik..

ฉันรักคุณ

2008-08-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

dibaca: Chan rak khoon
artinya: I love you

sekian pelajaran hari ini.

quizes

2008-08-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

yep,
just finish doing my personality quizes...

the first one is to describe my personality types.
The test is based on Carl Jung's theory of psychological types and the personality research of Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs.

Carl Jung's theory of psychological types says each person is "wired" with different tendencies and preferences. Some of us are "extraverted" while others are "introverted", some are "thinkers" while others are "feelers", and so on.

There are 16 distinct personality types, each belonging to one of four temperaments as organized by David Keirsey.
from these 16 available types, i'm included in ENFP type, 'the advocate' with temprament type of "visionary" (wow!)..

NFs are introspective, intuitive and highly idealistic. They are subjective, compassionate "feeler" people that desire to contribute goodness and meaning to the lives of others. They are effective at doing this through their nurturing, insightful and encouraging nature. NFs despise conflict. They will do everything they can to make sure their loved ones get along with each other and are happy. NFs are imaginitive, creatively inclined and passionate about their choice causes.

while ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

the second test is to describe my self according to my multiple intelligences, to discover my learning style..

Multiple Intelligences is Howard Gardner's psychological theory about people and their different types of intelligences (logical, visual, musical, etc.). The test is suppose to help me discover my strongest types of intelligence and how these types helps me to learn.

From 8 types of intelligence, i'm one of the people with interpersonal intelligence, who are adept at looking inward (they said).

you can try these quizes by visiting this website: http://www.mypersonality.info/

sing sabar

2008-08-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

five days to go..

colongan

2008-07-28T05:13:00.000-07:00

calling you.. even though only in minutes..

listening to your voice,
listening to your laugh,
listening to you..

you made my night..

missing you badly!

me, counting days without you

salak

2008-07-26T03:21:00.000-07:00

pasti tau dong yang namanya salak...
saya suka berteriak-teriak kegirangan kalo mamah pulang kator bawa salak pondoh..
rasanya bisa abis sekilo sendirian..
apalagi kalo ada yang baru pulang kampung terus ngirimin salak kerumah..
wuih.. rasanya hati berbunga2 sekali..
saya memang sangat menyukai buah ini, meski konsumsi berlebihan akan menyebabkan sembelit (walopun udah makan kulit arinya sekalian)

salak atau yang bahasa inggrisnya snake fruit alias buah ular (masi sodaraan sama dragon fuit kali yah) memang buah aseli indonesia (kata mas wiki).
tapi salak bangkok itu beda sama salak pondoh, ataupun sama salak bali...
salak bangkok itu gak seperti buah2an versi bangkok lainnya yang biasanya lebih gede ukurannya dari versi indonesianya..
salak bangkok itu lebih runcing2 dan kurus2..
yah mungkin menyesuaikan sama karakteristik orang sini yang juga kurus2 itu kali yah
udah lama saya ingin sekali mencicip salak versi thailand ini..
dari baunya aja udah manis, bikin ngences...
tapi gak pernah ada kesempatan dan keteguhan iman untuk mencobanya..

pernah sekali nyoba versi manisannya waktu makan2 dibayarin di restoran seafood kemaren (sama calon bos nya bije.. makasiy om, tante )
tapi ya itu versi manisan yang dibekuin didalem gelas2 plastik terus waktu disajiin ditumplekin gitu kedalam mankuk cantik..
waktu itu sih rasanya enak, apalagi pake embel2 gratisan.. tentu mangkin nikmat rasanya..

akhirnya keinginan saya mencoba buah salak bangkok ini kesampean juga kemaren..
iseng waktu di talad nat beli sekilo, secara harga per kilonya cuman 30 baht atau sekitar 9ribu rupiah.

tapi ternyata setelah mencoba saya kuciwa...
rasanya tak seenak salak pondoh kesukaan saya..
ngeliat penampakan dalemnya aja saya langsung ilfil..
alhasil itu satu piring salak bangkok masih tercogok dimeja makan kami..

memang benar kata bu mega..
tak usah lah orang indonesia studi banding ke thailand..
hihihihi

blood type

2008-07-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

is your blood type determine what kind of person are you,
or is it you that determine your blood type..

Berdasarkan sebuah penelitian di Jepang katanya karakter seseorang itu lebih ditentukan oleh golongan darah daripada zodiak atau shio.
Kenapa? Katanya, golongan darah itu ditentukan oleh protein-protein tertentu yang membangun semua sel di tubuh kita dan karena itu juga menentukan psikologi kita.
Benar gak?

Sifat secara umum:
A : terorganisir, konsisten, jiwa kerja-sama tinggi, tapi selalu cemas (karena perfeksionis) yang kadang bikin orang lain mudah sebel
B : nyantai, easy going, bebas, dan paling menikmati hidup
O : berjiwa besar, supel, gak mau ngalah, alergi pada yg detil [hmm, berjiwa besar, subel tapi kok gak mau ngalah??]
AB: unik, nyleneh, banyak akal, berkepribadian ganda

Berdasarkan Urutan:
Yang paling gampang ngaret soal waktu :
1 B (krn nyantai terus)
2 O (krn flamboyan) [gw gak flamboyan! ya kan?]
3 AB (krn gampang ganti program)
4 A (krn gagal dalam disiplin)

Yang paling susah mentolerir kesalahan orang:
1 A (krn perfeksionis dan narsismenya terlalu besar)
2 B (krn easy going tapi juga easy judging)
3 AB (krn asal beda)
4 O (easy judging tapi juga easy pardoning)

Yang paling bisa dipercaya:
1 A (krn konsisten dan taat hukum)
2 O (demi menjaga balance)
3 B (demi menjaga kenikmatan hidup)
4 AB (mudah ganti frame of reference)

Yang paling disukai untuk jadi teman (berdasarkan survey):
1 O (orangnya sportif)
2 A (selalu on time dan persis)
3 AB (kreatif)
4 B (tergantung mood)

Yang paling tidak disukai untuk jadi teman (berdasarkan survey):
1 B (egois, easy come easy go, maunya sendiri)
2 AB (double standard)
3 A (terlalu taat dan scrupulous)
4 O (sulit mengalah)

Menyangkut otak dan kemampuan:

Yg paling mudah kesasar:
1 B
2 A
3 O
4 AB

Yang paling banyak meraih medali di olimpiade olah raga:
1 O (jago olah raga)
2 A (persis dan matematis)
3 B (tak terpengaruh pressure dari sekitar. Hampir seluruh atlet judo, renang dan gulat jepang bergolongan darah B)
4 AB (alergi pada setiap jenis olah raga)

Yang paling banyak jadi direktur dan pemimpin:
1 O (krn berjiwa leadership dan problem-solver)
2 A (krn berpribadi "minute" dan teliti)
3 B (krn sensitif dan mudah ambil keputusan)
4 AB (krn kreatif dan suka ambil resiko)

Yang paling gampang nabung dan alasannya:
1 A (suka menghitung bunga bank)
2 O (suka melihat prospek)
3 AB (menabung krn punya proyek)
4 B (baru menabung kalau punya uang banyak)

Yg paling panjang umur, dan alasannya :
1 O (gak gampang stress, antibody nya paling joss!)
2 A (hidup teratur)
3 B (mudah cari kompensasi stress)
4 AB (amburadul)

Yang paling gampang ndut:
1 O (nafsu makan besar, makannya cepet lagi)
2 B (makannya lama, nambah terus, dan lagi suka makanan enak)
3 A (hanya makan apa yg ada di piring, terpengaruh program diet)
4 AB (Makan tergantung mood, mudah kena anoressia)

Yang paling gampang sakit ringan (flu, demam, batuk, pilek)
1 A (lemah terhadap virus dan pernyakit menular)
2 AB (lemah terhadap hygiene)
3 O (makan apa saja enak atau nggak enak)
4 B (makan, tidur nggak teratur)

Yang kalau tidur paling susah dibangunin:
1 B (tetap mendengkur meski ada Tsunami)
2 AB (jika lagi mood, sleeping is everything)
3 A (tidur harus 8 jam sehari, sesuai hukum)
4 O (baru tidur kalau benar2 capek dan membutuhkan)

Yang paling cepet tidur (pelor alias nempel molor):
1 B (paling mudah ngantuk, bahkan sambil berdiripun bisa tertidur)
2 O (Kalau lagi capek dan gak ada kerjaan mudah kena ngantuk)
3 AB (tergantung kehendak)
4 A (tergantung aturan dan orario)

Yang paling kuat ingatannya:
1 O
2 AB
3 A
4 B

Yang paling sering kecelakaan lalu lintas (berdasarkan data kepolisian)
1 A
2 B
3 O
4 AB
Jenis makanan yang diambil kalau ke pesta:
O (banyak ngambil protein hewani, pokoknya daging2an)
A (ngambil yg berimbang. 4 sehat 5 sempurna)
B (suka ambil makanan yg banyak kandungan airnya spt soup, soto, bakso, dsb)
AB (hobby mencicipi semua masakan, "aji mumpung")

Jenis penyakit yang paling gampang menyerang:
A (stress, majenun/linglung)
B (lemah terhadap virus influenza, paru-paru)
O (gangguan pencernaan dan mudah kena sakit perut)
AB (kanker dan serangan jantung, mudah kaget)

Yang dianjurin supaya tetap sehat:
A (Karena terlalu perfeksionis maka nyantailah sekali-kali, gak usah terlalu tegang dan serius)
B (Karena terlalu susah berkonsentrasi, sekali-kali perlu serius sedikit, meditasi, main catur)
O (Karena daya konsentrasi tinggi, maka perlu juga mengobrol santai, jalan-jalan)
AB (Karena gampang capek, maka perlu cari kegiatan yang menyenangkan dan bikin lega)

nah buat meng cross checknya saya gabungin sama postingannya Muy di milis lss
ada beberapa yang gak sejalan sih, but i like the comic version better.

second part - Chantaburi Trip

2008-07-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

now we are in the third day..
June 28, 2008.

All the work has finish, maybe i will put some pictures of our masterpiece later.
but now, it's time to enjoy our selves.

Today the agenda is to visit Welu Wetland, a mangrove forest area located not far from the school.
After one year always talking about mangrove forest now i have the opportunity to actually being in one.
and i was really excited, really..
see...
all you can see is mangrove, mangrove and mangrove everywhere!!!
There we plant mangroves. Some of us plant them at the deep water, but not me, just at the seashore..

We also release crabs as a donation to the environment..
Say yes to increase the biodiversity!!
After wearing the life-vest we ride the boat, just circling the wetland area..
but instead of paying attention to the natural resources, all we do is taking picture, taking picture, and taking picture.
we had dinner there, and crabs was also in our menu

Being sick of watching the sexy dancer performance (yes, another sexy dancer which not sexy at all! i don;t understand what is it with thai's and sexy dancers!), kangmas took me to see the fireflies trail..
too bad the others didn't witness this amazing thing because they just to excited with the dancers, the almost striptease show and got drunk.
too bad...
I'm sorry, no pictures available.
You must see it by your self.
If you ask me to describe how was it, hmm..
maybe like you're in a forest of christmas tree.. with the lamp that on and off in a few different rhytm..
It feels like i'm in the land of magic and fairytales..
and no, i'm not exaggerating..

The fourth day is the good bye day..
I have to say good bye to my new genk-gong
These children also have to be separated from their "parents"
Take a last group picture..

and say good bye to an adorable girl.
Let me introduce you to Pancake.
She is actually not a student yet, she is the sister of a student that joining our activity.
She is so cute and irresistible, and everyone just want to take picture with her.. and finally make her cry..

However, our journey didn't end there...
let's go to our next destination.. Namtokphlio National Park..
there are many things there, including:
a wat named Along Khvon Chedi that was built in 1878

a pyramid named Pra Nang Ruar Lom Stupa that was built by King Rama 5th in 1881 in commemoration of Sunnata Kumarirat Princess Pra Borm Rajadhevi (her skeleton is burried there, said the brochure)
and Phlio Waterfall, a 20 meters tall waterfall with many fish live in it pool and stream.
there, we feed the fish..
what fish? see it one more time..

we swim..

and of course we took pictures

After changing our wet clothes we go to our last destination, a beach, a one hour far from the national park.
No, it's not pattaya beach.
It was a small beach with a small entrance road, so small that even i can;t remember the name (is there any connection between beach size and my memory?)

In that beach, some of us go for another swim..
Some of us ride the banana boat..
even though someone getting so sick and need to be return back to the beach (poor old man.. ck ck ck)
Me?
I'm just enjoying the beach..
take a "romantic" walk..

dip my feet in the sand..

playing with crab (yes, we learn how to make a crab not move when we releasing crabs the day before)

enjoying the view..

looking envy at the children..
eating indigenous food

and make my self trapped in the stack of tires..

from this beach i end this story..
see you all in other "jalan-jalan" stories..

can rainbow appear in a full circle form?

2008-07-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Maybe..

A phenomenon of "full circle rainbow" appear in the skies over Malaysia on August 6, 2007.

Actually it wasn't really a rainbow at all but a rare optical illusion called a sundog.

These appear when the sun is low in the sky and its rays catch the thin vapor formed of ice crystals which lies in the atmosphere six miles above the Earth's surface.

The rays are refracted by the crystals to produce what looks like a halo round the sun.

Sometimes, as here, they display a spectrum of colors from red closest to the sun to a pale blue furthest from it, which has led to them being mistaken for full circle rainbows.

So where, you might wonder, would you find the crock of gold?
(That's what the myth says you will discover at the end of the rainbow).
But sadly for treasure-hunters, this one has no end. It is a perfect circle

reduce the energy footprint

2008-07-21T22:58:00.000-07:00

kemaren ada antrian panjang didepan ruang advisor saya,
panjangnya udah kayak antrian sembako..
paaaaanjang dan laaaaama..
ya kenapa lagi kalo gak bukan karena sang advisor mo ngabur liburan tiga minggu..

teronggok lah saya diantara antrian itu..
dengan nomor urut paling buncit!
ya elah..
sabar neng sabar...

iseng-iseng saya baca cuplikan artikel yang ditempel sang advisor didepan ruang kerjanya.
"thammasat student use bycicle to reduce their energy foot print"
dengan poto anak kuliah berseragam yang berbondong bondong naik sepeda...
terus katanya untuk memfasilitasi hal ini sang punya universitas sampe ngebangun bycicle lane segala.. (kasian ya, masa sepeda cuman bole di bycicle lane, kalo dimari mah semua jalan adalah bycicle way.. huehehehe)..
dalam hati saya waktu itu: "ooh bagus bagus.." sambil ngangguk ngangguk sendiri baca itu berita..

tapi nyatanya...
malamnya saya pergi ke thammasat, apa lagi kalo bukan buat jajan di taladnat..
ciiih.. apanya yang berubah!
perasaan mobil yang parkir makin banyak aje..
kayaknya gak ngaruh tu kebijakan yang mempromote pemakaian sepedah.
mana itu pasar udah seseknya kayak apaan...
gak lagi lagi deh kesana diatas jam7..
ampuuuun

at last.. Chantaburi Trip part 1

2008-07-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

after a while, a long while, of pending this posting,
i finally manage to finish it, but i have to divide this story into two parts, otherwise it will be too long.

yes, i do have difficulties in choosing the pictures (the most difficul thing is in deciding which pictures i want to share, and which one i want to keep in private )
also in making good stories..
i really want to share all of the excitement, but maybe i'm just not good at it..
so here is the best thing i can give you

this trip is a donation trip organized by student union.
the duration is from june 26 to 29, and the location is in Chantaburi.
the main idea is to help a school in renovating their buildings, and we also donate some computers, books, and others (i don't know the details, to be honest, i'm joining to have some fun ).
and in short story, after finish renovating that school, we went for mangroove planting, realising crabs, and of course, some tourism activity. yes, we went to a waterfall and a small beach (i forgot the name. not a famous one).

i'm really glad i decided to come to this trip as a volunteer, and i'm really glad that kangmas ask me to come with him.
yes, i do meet with lots of new friends (from 30 something people i only know 3 people, and some familiar faces), although i spent most of my times with a single person only.

before we go on that trip, we have meetings.
but me, i didn't join the meeting with thousands of excuses

after that we have to rearrange the donated goods (donate by ait student i assume) into boxes according to their types.
This is the picture of some of the donated goods, not arranged yet.

and then we wrap the gifts for children.
we plan to have lots of games there and provide gifts for the children.
According to the plan, that school students will join us and help us do our things.
after finish packing and wrapping gifts, we are ready to go on the trip.

now, the trip.
starting from 26th morning..
i manage to wake up right on time. yes, i mean right on time when he called me to wake me up.. hihihi

we are obligated to wear a name tag, with our names written on it, both in regular and thai ways.
it is really difficult for them (my new thai friends) to decide how to write my name.
they ask whether it is pronounce as "PU'-TRIIII" or "PUT-RI"..
well, for me there is no different between those two.
as i confused, they decide to give my name as PU'-TRIII.. they say PU' is the name of famous singer, and she's really beautiful. okay, so be it

then, we start that day by taking group pictures in front of the bus, using our free t-shirt..

It took us more than 4 hours to reach that place.
Yes, it is located 2 hours from pattaya, while to reach pattaya we need 2 hours, so total 4 hours.
hahaha, the non important detail

arriving there, we were welcomed by these cute children who say greetings everytime one of them pass them. really heart-touching moment.
and not forgetting this sign..
well.. welcome everyone!!
and let us start working!

at day time, all we do is work work and work..
some of us is making the greenhouse (the color is white, not green, so should it be called as white house?)
these are the guys who swore to work hard and make sure that "the white house" is finish built.

some of us is renovating the library and nursing room (or what we, indonesians, called UKS, unit kesehatan sekolah).

it was really dusty, so don't count me in..
i don't want my dust allergy ruining this whole trip (making excuse, again..)

so what am i dong there?
i join the third group..
painting..
we in the third group was assigned to paint the fence.. the wall.. the.. what ever the name is..
and i work hard.. and burnt by the sun..
need proof?
don't be confuse if you don't see any paint. in day one we paint with thinner. they said it is to enable the old paint merge with the new one. up to them laa..

we were helped by the children also..

some of the children was also assigned to be "the water girl"..
(actually it's not only girls, some boys also assigned to bring us water)

here come lunch time!!!
yummy...
and this is the dining room..
look at this place..
remind me of my junior high cafeteria...

after being refulled, we play games with the children..
the chammeleon..

melody chair..

and bugs, rabbit, lion, human..
let us take a picture first before we joining in..

the best part is all of these entire games only use music from this instrument.
amazing!

We also do some sports..
Football
Volleyball
Takraw
And some dancing

after being refueled and re-energized, we continue working.. and working and working...

the fun begins again at night.
we have this campfire.

lots of food...
(fresh seafood.. served freshly from the oven.. i really like these oyster.. keep them comming khun!)

exotic dancers

and karaoke
Me?
No, I'm not singing..
I was just sitting around, eating lots of oyster, enjoying the night, and do some poco-poco

when the fun ended, we sleep.
where do we sleep?
in a tent of course!
and this is the morning view..
It's already the second day!!
Let's do morning exercise!

and don't to do "upacara bendera"

and here is the flag..
yup.. it's not red and white

after working that half day we had lunch, and yay, another game session!!

This one is a traditional thai game, and i don't know the name.
the rules are:
1. you play in group of 8.
2. every member in your group need to step on a piece of newspaper.
3. each time, the newspaper became smaller and smaller and smaller..
it's a children only game. grownups won't able to form these things.. leave it to children
the last game is what i called "riding a motorbike".
get ready...
brrmmm.. brrmmm.. brrmmm...
to the up..
to the left..
to the right..
and to the up again!
We spent the night in "the city" of Chantaburi.
A city that at 10pm all shop were closed.
But i do enjoy that night

hurt

2008-07-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

the truth is sometimes better be unknown..
especially when it can breaks your heart..

when your heart being hurt over and over again..
will it be numb?

yes, the truth has somehow hurt me..
breaks my hearts with a huge hammer in to small pieces..
and it seems not enough..
the truth also shreded it into thin layers..

will it ever be recovered?
recovered just in time when you came back..
will it ever be the same?

may time heals all..

similar to

2008-07-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

when i was little (my dear friend really hates when i start a sentence with this four words),
people oftenly said that i look like an indian..
they say "ooh.. you're beautiful.. you look like an indian girl"..
well, at that time i didn't feel offended, at least they say that i'm beautiful.
but as my grew up, especially nowadays, i don't see that fact as a compliment.
yes, i don't want to look like an indian.

here, in thai, people always thinks that i'm a thai's.
they oftenly talk to me in thai..
and keep talking.. and talking..
and then i just smile, and say "mai ko chai" which means i don't understand, or "puthai niknoy" (i don't know how to write it. so i write it as i pronounce it in bahasa) which means i only can speak little thai. before, i always say "puthai mai dai" which means i can't speak thai. but they became confuse because i'm saying that i can't speak thai while i speak that sentence in thai. conflicting

even campus security guard says like that.
he said, with a mix english-tarzan language, "look thai", while moving his hand circling his face. I translate it as "your face look like thai".
however, this thing sometimes bring benefit, especially when you shop in traditional market..
all you have to do is ask "ani tolai" which means how much is this, and then they will answer the real price, not the price for foreigner. however you need to understand simple numbers like one two three to ten, and after that you can bargain in english

some people, recently sellers in chatuchak market, thinks that i'm a philippinos. hmm, i can't say that i'm proud to hear it, because some of the philippinos that i know is not... good.. hihihi

and lastly, a friend of mine once said that he really like my picture. only that one.
i'm flattered...
until he say "you look really beautiful in that picture, you look like a pakistani"..
that sentence just successfully thrown me from the tenth level..
hellow.. do you think i look beautiful ONLY because i look like a pakistani??
sigh..
(not that i'm saying that pakistani girls are not beautiful.. but.. i don't like when people say i'm beautiful conditionally )

so...
when will i look like an indonesian????

a glance of pattaya

2008-07-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

This is a two day event that force me to come back early from home..
(yup, i believe that i should stay a little bit longer at home, just to make the air fare worth )
however, i'm glad to have this opportunity (so i can fill up my bank account that nearly run out).

ok, where do i have to start...
This is the event name, The 2nd UCLG ASPAC Congress.

Don't ask me what UCLG stands for.
All i know is ASPAC stands for Asia Pacific

Now, although it is said that this event is held in Pattaya, it's not fully correct.
The location is actually at Jomtien, quite far from central pattaya (150 baht for group with song teo, one way).

But it's okay, because we need to work the whole day, so there is no point to stay in the real pattaya.
However, i do want to spent nights at the beach, and it fails.

Let me introduce you to our team.
First is the father and the baby, aka Niken. Father aka Faisal is the one who recruit all of us to join this event. Of course, he is the father.

And then, there are Tu and Grig..

Me and Kirstin..

And lastly, bu em and mas sigit, who join us at the last minutes..

I really am amazed by the conference hall. It was soo nice.
The main room is really really huge. And there is no such thing as standing screen for lcd projector.
the screens (yup, there are two, one on the left and the other on the right) was just there. Without any equipments.

The backdrop was also amazing.
How they can put it like that.

I'm sorry for being too technical.
I just see it from a person who usually organized seminars point of view .

Well, although you can read that this event took place is Royal Cliff Beach Resort, don't get fooled. We are not staying in that hotel. It's just too expensive and not pedestrian friendly (you need to walk a thousand miles to reach the front gate, and yes, i'm exaggerating).

Lets have our picture taken before we start working.

We were staying in a smaller hotel name island view hotel.
maybe average three stars hotel. But at least this lady is welcoming us on our arrival night, and the night after.

Now, what are we doing there?
We work..
and work..
and work..
and work..
and work..

Yes.. we do work hard..
oops.. you got me..
please don't tell them that i manage to play some games

As you see, all of us wears yellow polo shirt.
yup, it's the best thing in this event.
They provide us free polo shirt.
Quoting my friend "at last, we have a yellow shirt.. and it's for free".
Well, having a yellow tshirt is a must here in thai. you can say that you're not yet a thai if you don't have yellow shirt. but buying them is the most difficult thing to do. Not because it's expensive, but the one that sold in the stores is just too... regular.. (yes, keep making excuses for not buying one)..

Because they only provide us with one tshirt, we can wear other dress for the second day.
here is our wardrobe..

At the end of the first day, we manage to visit the central of pattaya..
we take a walk at the famous walking street (is it really famous?).
there are some signage that get my attention.
such as this one..
let us take a closer look..
It says "Steal me if you can".. yeah, right!

and this one..

and this one..
Yes, disko with a K

although most of the signages are trying to put things in a vulgar way, there is this one signage that looks different from the others.
yup, the choose to put these two scary face gents and not those sexy women figures.

the last one is quite interesting signage..
sssstttt... don't tell mama naa..

that's all the story of pattaya..
lets end this one with a group picture..
And another one...
well, you can't get enough with picture taking.. right..

see you next time...

a story of Pon and Zi

2008-07-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

ladies and gents,
let me introduce you to Pon and Zi..

Pon and Zi are two emo cartoon characters created and illustrated by Jeff Thomas.
Firstly drawn on 2004, these characters were originally gray and nameless, and put in violent but humorous situations.

After being in his first serious relationship on late 2004, the characters consequently became less violent and found themselves in relationship-themed comics.
He decided to assign each character with a color because gray didn't seem to convey love very well.

He wanted to avoid giving either characters a gender because he wanted everyone to be able to relate to every comic. Blue and yellow seemed to work best, so he stuck with those two colors.

However, they still needed names. Minimalist characters should have minimalist names, so he named the blue one Zi, and the yellow one Pon, and it worked.

Since then, the style used to draw the comics has changed subtly, but they've always been created in basically the same way.

I've seen his work for quite a while,but just recently exposed to his real identity. Since then, i cant stop my self from searching his masterpiece.

From his numerous pieces of art, these are the pictures that I love the most.

These first there are in my best of the best category.

This one is originally titled "Heaven and Hell". And i put this one as the first most favorable picture.

And this one is originally titled "Pretend". Maybe i like this because it's just reflecting my feelings.

And lastly, the one with the title "Heartbeat". This one is just too sweet for not chosen as my favorite

There are also several pictures that i like.

Title: "While I sleep"

Title: "Five Cents"

Title: "Pillow"

Title: "You'll Get Sick"

Title: "Butterflies"

I name this one "Prettier than Flower"

Title: "Cookie"

Title: "Fishing"

Title: "Practice and Perfection"

I name this one "Heartbeat"

Title: "Teddy"

I name this one "Smiling Heart"

Title: "La Lala La"

I name this one "Love me, love me not"

I name this one "The Dead Fish"

Title: "Magnet Cling"

Title: "Nubbly"

Title: "Lips"

I name this one "Give you my heart"

I name this one "Not killing you"

I name this one "Wake Up Call"

I hope you like them as much as i do.
If you're interested in his arts, you can visit http://azuzephre.deviantart.com and http://www.azuzephre.net.

yay!!

2008-06-25T06:54:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for 4 days in a donation trip to a place called Chantaburi (fyi, i really dont know where is it)..
bersama kangmas tentunyaaaa..
yay!

tapi serem kalo gak kebangun..
secara pargi jam 6 pagi yang artinya bangun jam 5..
udah gitu sekarang waktu sudah menunjukkan jam 1 malam kurang 9 menit..
padahal hari2 yang lalu kalo baru tidur jam segini baru akan bangun 8, itu juga paling cepet..
rata2 mah kebangun jam 9-10..
huaaaaaa....

gak lucu kalo gagal pergi karna ketinggalan rombongan..
mana masi sempet2nya posting lagi..
huehehehe

who am i?

2008-06-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

They say im a Spontaneous Idealist (SI)..

Spontaneous Idealists are creative, lively and open-minded persons. They are humorous and dispose of a contagious zest for life. Their enthusiasm and sparkling energy inspires others and sweeps them along. They enjoy being together with other people and often have an uncanny intuition for their motivations and potential. Spontaneous Idealists are masters of communication and very amusing and gifted entertainers. Fun and variety are guaranteed when they are around. However, they are sometimes somewhat too impulsive in dealing with others and can hurt people without really meaning to do so, due to their direct and sometimes critical nature.

This personality type is a keen and alert observer; they miss nothing which is going on around them. In extreme cases, they tend to be oversensitive and exaggeratedly alert [CORRECT!] and are inwardly always ready to jump. Life for them is an exciting drama full of emotionality. However, they quickly become bored when things repeat themselves and too much detailed work and care is required. Their creativity, their imaginativeness and their originality become most noticeable when developing new projects and ideas - they then leave the meticulous implementation of the whole to others. On the whole, Spontaneous Idealists attach great value to their inner and outward independence and do not like accepting a subordinate role. They therefore have problems with hierarchies and authorities.

If you have a Spontaneous Idealist as your friend, you will never be bored; with them, you can enjoy life to the full and celebrate the best parties. At the same time, they are warm, sensitive, attentive and always willing to help. [So, you are lucky, my friend :)]

If Spontaneous Idealists have just fallen in love, the sky is full of violins and their new partners are showered with attention and affection. This type then bubbles over with charm, tenderness and imagination. [So, you are lucky mas ;p]

But, unfortunately, it soon becomes boring for them once the novelty has worn off. Boring everyday life in a partnership is not for them so that many Spontaneous Idealists slip from one affair into another. However, should the partner manage to keep their curiosity alive and not let routine and familiarity gain the upper hand, Spontaneous Idealists can be inspiring and loving partners.

Adjectives which describe your type
spontaneous, enthusiastic, idealistic, extroverted, theoretical, emotional, relaxed, friendly, optimistic, charming, helpful, independent, individualistic, creative, dynamic, lively, humorous, full of zest for life, imaginative, changeable, adaptable, loyal, sensitive, inspiring, sociable, communicative, erratic, curious, open, vulnerable

These subjects could interest you
literature, art, music, parties, concerts, travel, dancing, eating out [FOR SURE!], joint pleasure

what happen to me?

2008-06-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

although i didnt have the guts to tell my self that this is love,
why is it hurts so much when you ignore me..
why is it hurts so much when you didnt give any room for me in your life..

i know we have little time left..
but that is the main reason why i want to spend these days with you..

im counting how many time we have left..
before i go, leaving you..
and finally you will also go.. and at the end leaving me..

five weeks without you..
and i dont know what will happen after that five weeks..

sigh..
missing you already..

you really know

2008-06-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

kamu..
benar benar tau bagaimana cara memperlakukanku dengan tidak benar..

ketika aku ingin..
pasti kamu tidak ingin..
dan aku mengalah..

ketika aku tidak ingin..
pasti kamu ingin..
dan lagi.. aku mengalah

ketika aku bilang mau..
kamu akan bilang tidak mau..
dan aku berusaha keras agar kamu mau..

ketika aku bilang tidak mau..
lantas kau bilang mau..
dan aku tidak mengelak, karena jauh didalam hati, aku ingin berteriak mau..

kamu bilang aku terlalu patuh..
tidak.. aku tidak patuh..
aku selalu bisa menemukan seribu alasan untuk mendebatmu..
tapi dibanyak kesempatan, aku hanya terlalu malas untuk berdebat..
karena aku tau, aku tidak akan bisa menang melawan mu..

kamu tau ketika aku sedang gundah..
atau ketika sesuatu sedang mengganjal pikiran ku..
ketika aku sedang mempunyai pemikiran pemikiran buruk..

ketika saat itu datang,
kamu selalu bisa membuat ku merasa lebih baik..
tapi ketika perasaan ku sudah membaik, lantas kau tinggalkan begitu saja..

sigh..
you can be really understand me..
and at the same time being a really ignorant person..
or sometimes i know that you know, but you don't want to know about it..

believe it or not

2008-06-10T02:41:00.000-07:00

sungguh tak dapat dipercaya
saya kemarin habis menonton pelm nehi nehi yang diperani oleh Amitabh Bachchan, putranya yang bernama Abhishek Bachchan, serta istri putranya alias Aishwarya Rai..
huehehe..
what a big happy family

untitled

2008-06-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

what a shocking truth..
if it's really a truth..

if i ask this, will you tell me the truth..
and nothing but the truth..
so help me God..
(looh..)

i'm not sure if i'm ready for the truth..

gundah

2008-06-05T05:21:00.000-07:00

adalah ketika harus memilih antara menepati janji ato mengikuti kemauan hati...

ternyata saya memang bukan orang yang dapat menepati janji apabila janji tersebut harus bertandingan dengan kangmas..
kikikik...

ya abis gimana..
wong janji dimasakin..
moso gak mau..

paling gampang luluh sama lelaki yang bisa memasak

the pony tail and me

2008-06-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

tau sih kalau saya diiket ala pony tail terlihat bagai "mbok mbok"..
tapi ini kali pertama ada yang protes sama ke mbok mbok an saya itu (selain bunda tercinta tentunya, karna bunda selalu tak suka dengan rambut berkucir saya)..
hihihihi...

iya deh iya..
lain kali kalo bertemu tidak akan di kuncir lagi...
ya abis gimana.. kemaren kan hari yang melelahkan lagi panas luar biasa

topeng

2008-05-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

should i wear this mask all the time..
can't i express what i really feel deep down inside..

well, the answer is yes i should.. and no i can't...
it's just... not appropriate..

ah siyal..
berasa bagai serigala berbulu domba...

i'm not as good as i may seem..
horrible..
i true feeling and thinking is really really horrible..

i'm sorry God for i have sin..

andai

2008-05-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

andai thesis udah kelar secara tiba2 lalu saya dapat menghabiskan sisa waktu setahun disini dengan luntang lantung gak puguh..
andai disebelah rumah muncul tunas pohon uang...
andai juga tiba2 bapaknya anak2 datang dan meminang..
duh betapa bahagia hidup ini..
tampak damai..
tinggal mencari pahala sebanyak2nya dan berbuat amal kebajikan sebisa2nya supaya masuk surga..
hahahaha

ngelantur mode ON

ajang promosi barang dagangan

2008-05-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

tau sih setiap orang boleh mempergunakan halaman berlapisnya untuk keperluan apapun.. termasuk bisnis..
buat orang2 yang jiwa bisnisnya jalan, pasti langsung mempergunakan fasilitas gretongan ini dengan tanpa pikir panjang..
saya gak ada masalah dengan itu..

tau sih setiap orang bisa mampir ke halaman berlapisnya orang lain yang di-set tidak untuk restricted profile..
dan saya salah satu orang yang membebaskan siapapun untuk membaca tulisan2 saya, dan meninggalkan jejak mereka di halaman saya yang berlapis lapis ini..
toh saya sudah belajar bahwa posting2 yang bersifat rahasia bisa di protek sesuai skala kerahasiaannya...

tau sih setiap orang bisa mengisi guestbook orang lain dengan tanpa perlu approval..
saya sangat suka dengan fasilitas guestbook ini..
bisa untuk bertegur sapa dengan teman..
atau hanya menyapa teman baru..

tapi kenapa yah..
ada orang2 yang sangat gemar mengiklan halaman bisnisnya di guestbook nya orang lain..
dikira bagus apa kelakuan kayak begitu?
saya ter-annoyed..
untuk ada fasilitas delete

tanya

2008-05-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

ku tak tahu apa yang aku rasakan sekarang..
ku tak tahu apa yang harusnya aku rasakan sekarang..

aku terus bertanya padaNya..
apa yang harusnya aku rasakan ya Tuhan..

yang manakah petunjuk dari Mu
apakah perasaan yang ini..
apakah perasaan yang itu..
ataukah Engkau belum memberi petunjukMu..

aku tak mengerti..

hari bertanda tanya..

memori

2008-05-23T03:29:00.000-07:00

berawal dari tetangga sebelah kamar yang menyorongkan lagu mentari...
dan kemudian diikuti request lagu dinda sayang...
langsung kenangan masa silam terbersit di pikiran..
cuplikan2 kejadian bergerak tampak berganti2 mewarnai malam nan lembab ini..

kenangan waktu os..
waktu disuruh lari2..
sambil nyanyi2 meski ngos2an..
meski butir2 hujan menyertai..
sambil pake ponco laksana sang pengendara motor yang kedodoran..

kenangan waktu disuruh makan bawang putih mentah..
yang bikin saya tidak suka bawang putih hingga saat ini..
padahal Sasa, salah seorang teman saya dengan suka hati melakukannya..
ternyata dia sangat suka dengan bawang putih mentah

kenangan waktu ngecengin... mmm...
hahaha...
masa lalu..

mentari..
sebuah lagu yang kalo saya bilang mempersiapkan para mahasiswa buat siap tempur..
dalam demo kali ya..
abis ada kalimat "meskipun tembok yang tinggiiii.. mengurungkuuu.. berlapis pagar duri pagar duri sekitar kuuu.. tak satu pun yang mampu menghalangi kuuuu.. menyalaaa didalam hatikuuuu.."
hihihi..

dan dinda sayang..
"dinda sayaaaang... layaknya engkau pasti mengertiiii.. hidup yang kau jalaniiii.. kau padukan hati dan nuranimuuu..ku ucapkaaan slamat datang dindaaaa"
dulu perasaan waktu ndengernya berasa syahdu banget..
sekarang..
mungkin karna pengaruh yang nyanyi agak2 fales jadi berkurang kesyahduannya

kedua lagu ini dulu dinyanyiin sama yuke dkk waktu pelantikan hmp..
tahun 2002..
eh 2002 gak sih?
kalo gak salah kita dilantik udah taun 2002 kan yah?
ntah lah..
udah mulei lupa2 inget..
maklum.. saya sudah mulai tua..

aahh.. memori..

insecure

2008-05-22T05:02:00.000-07:00

insecurity and jealousy..
maybe it's a personal demon that lies within a person..
or could it be caused by a external reason that you can't control..

insecurity may come in many different forms..
from being insecure about physical appearance to feeling unconfident about emotional issues..
insecurities can destroy a relationship and the smallest situation can spark a series of unwanted mishaps..
i guess this is the demon that people have been dealing with over the past couple of decades and it's hard for anyone to shake..

maybe we are afraid to look, afraid to face up to what lies behind it.
we know of the "presenting problem" on the surface; but what is the root problem, what's at the bottom of it all?
maybe we don't know; maybe we do, but it's too frightening to look at it, or to talk about it with someone else..
after all, we wouldn't want anyone else to know about where we hurt, do we..

insecurity...
can raise the nastiest thought a human being can think of..
how can i get rid of this feeling..
question mark.

sumpah serapah

2008-05-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

aku takut..

kangeun

2008-05-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

i can't get enough of you..

aku ingin lagi..
lagi..
lagi..
lagi..
lagi..
dan lagi..

rambutan!!!

2008-05-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

setelah lebih dari seminggu ngiler liat rambutan.. akhirnya kesampean juga menyantap buah penuh bulu, eh rambut, ini..

awalnya ngiler waktu ke pantip satu setengah minggu yang lalu, tepatnya tanggal 10 yang lalu..
dijalan dari bts ke pantip ngeliat tukang jual rambutan.. murah.. cuman 20 baht sekilonya..
tapi karna abis itu kit amau mampir makan bakso di chatuchak, jadi deh gak jadi beli.. kebayang nggotong2 kemana2.. males..

kali kedua waktu abis nonton ironmen, dalam perjalanan dari major cineplex ke futurepark..
kembali ngeliat tukang jual rambutan..
kali ini dengan harga yang lebih murah, yaitu 15 baht per kilonya..
tapi maes dong gotong2 rambutan keliling2 mol...
gak jadi lagi...

akhirnya saudara saudara...
hari ini..
abis berkeliling kampus nemenin inda pepotoan, dan mampir ke "snake bar"..
mata yang berkaca2 karna terharu melihat ada rambutan dijual di ibu gendut..
langsung tanpa berpikir dan menimbang mendekati dan bertanya "ini berapaan bu?"
"dua puluh baht sekilonya neng"
"aaaah mau beliiii... yang merah2 ya bu"

setengah kilo langsung diabisin sambil ngubrol2 disitu..
setengah kilo sisanya masi tercogok di meja makan..
ini dia sodara2 gambarnya..
seperti biasa, karna ini dibangkok, maka ukurannya juga besar2..
dan maniiiiiiiis...
puas hati ini

red alert

2008-05-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

sang kodok.. eh salah.. sang kangmas akhirnya membuka halaman ini..
dan dengan suksesnya mentranslate (iya, MENTRANSLATE!!!) isi2 postingan yang dia "curigai"..

sigh..
heran..
kenapa dia bisa begitu cerdasnya, padahal jelas2 postingan ini suka tidak menggunakan bahasa baku yang baik dan benar berdasarkan eyd yang disempurnakan..
dan kenapa juga mas gugel bisa begitu lengkapnya menyediakan dafter situs2 yang menyediakan jasa translasi bebas bahasa indonesia ke bahasa inggris..

he ask so many questions..
and i ended up have to prepare lots of explanation..
serta tak lupa mengubah setingan postingan2 "berbahaya" menjadi network only..
aaah... aku merasa terkupas dan tertelanjangi (halah bahasanya)...

saya cinta indonesia

2008-05-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

waktu ngobrol sama temen2 beberapa waktu yang lalu, saya baru menyadari kalo tempat pariwisata di sini (thailand) itu gak ada apa2nya..
apalagi kalo dibandingkan sama tempat2 wisata di indonesia..

tempat wisata disini rata2 kalo gak pantai, ya kuil..
coba kita coba bandingkan..

pantai...
disini banyak pantai2 yang namanya terkenal di dunia internasional..
selain pantai2 yang internationally recognize itu, ada pantai2 lain yang jadi objek wisata disini..
terbukti tiap mau ngerencanain jalan2 pasti pilihannya pantai deui pantai deui..
bandingkan dengan indonesia..
kita punya begitu banyak pantai..
yah namanya juga negara kepulauan..
bedanya?
pantai dikita hanya sedikit yang dilengkapi dengan fasilitas akomodasi yang memadai..
belum lagi faktor aksesibilitas yang suka jadi kendala..
tapi pantai2 dikita gak kalah bagusnya sama pantai2 disini..
bahkan lebih elok (halah, bahasanya)
disini pergi kepantai lebih sering untuk euphoria liburan aja.. karna disana juga gak ada apa2..
objek wisata andalan lainnya adalah kuil..
mulei dari grand palace yang sangat terkenal, ayuthaya dengan kuil tempoe doeloenya, sampe kuil2 dipinggiran kota..
karna itu saya menyebut negara ini sebagai negara seribu kuil..
kuil ini adalah tourist attraction yang paling utama..
dan rata2 cuman beda2 tipis..
contohnya..
wat phra kaeo yang terletak di komplek grand palace yang terkenal karna kemegahannya dan karna green-jade statue of the Budha yang notabene merupakan the most sacred Budha image in Thailand..
wat pho terkenal karna ada statue reclining budha sebesar 45x15 m..
wat arun yang terkenal sebagai temple of the dawn karna kalo lagi dawn keliatannya keren banget..
wat pa luangta bua yanasampanno forest monastery (duh panjang bener namanya) ato yang lebih terkenal dengan sebutan tiger temple yang terletak di kanchanaburi.. dari namanya keliatan kalo para biksu di kuil ini memelihara tiger..
beda lagi dengan wat yang terletak di monkey mountain, hua hin.. disana banyak monyetnya..
yah tiap wat ngaku punya ke khasan sendiri2..
dan masing2 punya ciri bangunan (bukan bangunan sih, tapi bahan bangunan) yang beda2
tapi ya itu..
teteup wat lagi wat lagi..
lama2 disini saya jadi gak selera kalo ngeliat kuil..

nah di indonesia kita punya banyak candi..
dari yang terkenal borobudur dan prambanan..
sampe candi2 kecil lainnya..

berbeda dengan thai yang menurut saya "cuman" punya pantai dan kuil..
indonesia punya buanyak tempat wisata lainnya..
wisata pegunungan yang diikuti dengan kebun teh maupun kebun kebun lainnya..
wisata.. hmm.. apalagi yah..
kalahnya indonesia cuman soal promosi..
dan penyediaan akomodasi..
mana mau turis2 dateng kalo gak ada akomodasi yang memadai..

kalo dilihat dari kebudayaan..
di thai ya itu2 doang..
tiap pentas kebudayaan pasti yang ditunjukin itu lagi itu lagi..
beda sama indonesia yang punya beribu (hiperbola kah?) suku dengan keberagaman yang luar biasa..

apalagi soal makanan..
dimana2 pasti yang dijual itu lagi itu lagi..
segala seafood olahan, tom yam, som tam, pad thai, kao tom (bubur ayam versi thai), nasi kuning, bakso2an, dan babi2an..hahaha..
lama2 bosen juga..

coba di indonesia..
sagala aya..
sate aja ada berbagai tipe, dari sate madura sampe sate padang..
rujak apalagi, rujak buah sampe rujak cingur (halah)
pecel juga, dari pecel sayur sampe pecel lele, hehehe..
ah pokoknya banyaaaak banget macemnya...

kalo soal infrastruktur, indonesia emang kalah..
infras disini lebih mantaf..
sampe kepelosok desa juga masi punya jalan selebar 6 meter..
sesuatu yang sulit diwujudkan untuk indonesia..
yah, gak heran.. mereka punya dana yang besar..
tapi saya baru tau kalo ternyata sistem drainase disini gak kalah bututnya sama di jakarta..
tiap ujan bikin banjir..
jadi sebenernya kita gak kalah2 amet yah..

kalo soal mass transport kita emang jauh ketinggalan..
yah, lagi2 terbentur masalah dana kayaknya..
tapi soal public transport non mass alias taksi, saya terkaget2 waktu tau kalo taksi cuman ada di bangkok metropolitan area (bma)..
kebayang dong, diluar bma gak ada taksi..
jadi kalo mau jalan hanya mengandalkan tuk tuk, song teo, ojek, ato bus kali yah..

kalo di indo kan di kota2 besar lain juga ada taksi..
kalo mereka pake tuk tuk kita pake bajay..
belum lagi kita ada becak, delman, dan laen laen..

pokoknya tiap saya membanding2kan antara thai dengan indonesia, saya makin jatuh cinta sama bangsa sendiri..
memang masih banyak yang harus diperbaiki dari indonesia..
tapi dengan tekad yang kuat.. itu semua bisa dicapai..
kalo thai mah emang udah begini begini ajah..

ayo..
majulah indonesia raya...

rasis

2008-05-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

menginjakkan kaki ke negeri seribu wat (alias kuil, bukan watt ukuran listrik) ini telah membuat saya menjadi seseorang yang sangat rasis..
terutama sama orang2 dari asia selatan, ato yang biasa kita sebut dengan nama a-es.
sebut saja orang2 i' (india), be (bangladesh), es el (srilanka), bahkan sampe orang pe (pakistan)..
saya tidak tahu sejak kapan percis-nya.. mungkin juga pengaruh para senior -orang2 yang terlebih dahulu menjejakkan kaki dimari- yang selalu mendoktrin kita yang masi baru dan bersih putih bagai kertas kosong dengan informasi ini..

tapi sebenernya setelah dipikir2, bukan salah bunda mengandung juga...
mereka aja yang sering berkelakuan "menyimpang"..
contohnya..

orang i', be dan es el terkenal dengan bau badan yang menyengat..
usik punya usik.. hal ini disebabkan oleh kebiasaan mereka yang jarang mandi..
apalagi yang cewe cewenya.. suka manjangin rambut.. tapi mandi aja enggak apalagi keramas.. jadi yah kebayang dong...
apalagi makanannya banyak mengandung jinten, ato jira kalo kata kangmas bilang (halah.. teteup..)
jadi bisa ketebak kalo bau sang jinten itu menyatu kedalam darahnya dan dikeluarkan kembali melalui pori2 bersama sang keringat..
yah.. begitu lah...
jadilah orang2 a-es identik dengan bau..

ditambah lagi kelakuan dua orang i' yang bertindak bagai bintang bol2 di welcome show kemarin..
mereka berkelakuan mesum diatas panggung..
kayaknya tinggal dilempar kasur langsung beraksi tuh..
bikin anti sama mereka..

beda lagi sama orang pe..
orang pe itu gemar sekali memanjangkan jenggot..
sampe terlihat bak kiyai2 banten..
dan suka pake gamis..
kemana pun dimana pun.. pasti berkostum gamis..
well.. i know that keeping your beard is actually a sunnah.. but do they have to keep their beard that long?
udah tau mereka memiliki gen banyak bulu... jadi begitu deh...
tapi setelah dipikir2.. mungkin salah orang2 indo juga..
karna di indo kebanyakan orang2 yang "berwujud" kayak gini adalah orang2 yang gak puguh..
sok2 membela agama tapi yang ada malah suka terlihat bodoh..
karna stereotypenya emang udah kayak gitu jadi kebayang dong tiap ngeliat mereka langsung berasa terintimidasi..
belum lagi beberapa dari orang pe yang bener2 ekstrimis suka berkelakuan aneh2.. contoh, ngedatengin cowok2 yang gak solat jumat (diapsen waktu soljum loh).. digedor2 rumah ato kamarnya, dinasehatin dan akhirnya ditutup dengan doa bersama..
tau sih niatnya baik.. tapi kan serem kalo caranya gitu...

saya juga pernah hampir kena sama bapak2 berjenggot ini..
tapi emang ini salah kami (saya dan teman2)..
alkisah di bulan ramadhan yang lalu (2007), di suatu hari yang indah..
karna lagi puasa jadi lah kami bermain2 di sv39b..
dan karna asyiknya bermain kami memproduksi kebisingan yang luar biasa..
bukan, mereka bukan terganggu karna volume suara yang kita buat.. tapi karna type suara yang kita buat..
kebayang dong, 4 orang gadis yang manis2 tertawa terbahak2 sambil sesekali diselingi suara teriakan dan desahan.. hahaha...
saat itu kebetulan penghuni sv dibawah adalah bapak2 berjenggot...
pasti lah mereka sudah mengelus dada..
mungkin takut pengen bergabung kali yah
kami gak sadar kalo udah ditarget sama sang bapak itu sampe mas sigit masuk ke rumah dan bilang kalo si bapak ada dibawah sambil mondar mandir.. kayaknya lagi mikir mau ngedatengin ato enggak.. mau nggabung apa enggak...
hihihi...
dengan kebergabungannya mas sigit di rumah tampaknya sang bapak mengurungkan niatnya untuk bergabung...

sebenernya gak semua orang pe sih..
contohnya kangmas..
dia masih normal tuh..
masi suka melakukan tindakan bejat nan anonoh juga (halah)
bawa gamis kemari juga cuman 6 setel aliat setengah lusin..
beda sama comcom yang mungkin bawa sekodi (hehehe iya nggak Nda ;p)
sebenernya jumlah gamis yang dibawa emang tidak mencerminkan apapun.. tapi seneng aja ngungkit2 nya..

nah..
"keburukan" orang a-es tidak berhenti sampai disini..
kelakuan mereka dalam kegiatan belajar juga sering jadi gunjingan...
orang i' dan be itu terkenal suka ngotot dikelas...
suka nanya2 gak penting..
makanya banyak teman2 yang sekelas dengan orang tersebut diatas suka mengeluh karna jam kuliah suka bertambah.. kebanyakan diskusi teu puguh..
juga keterlibatan mereka dalam kerja kelompok..
banyak yang mengeluh kalo mereka tidak mau kerja..
saya salah satunya..
udah ngalamin sama tipikal orang a-es yang gak mau berkontribusi..
sekali lagi.. emang gak semua orang a-es..
contohnya dua teman sekelas saya yang berasal dari be..
mereka berdua sangat pekerja keras..
tapi tampaknya cuman mereka berdua doang yang kayak gitu..
yang lainnya suka bikin garuk2 kepala dan nyut nyut nyut..
mungkin mereka berdua adalah anomali dari orang2 be kebanyakan..

semua alasan diatas membuat kita jadi agak2 anti sama orang a-es..
terus kalo ngeliat orang a-es udah bergerombol langsung "eh eh ada orang a-es.. pergi yuk"..
hehehe...
jahat memang.. tapi ya mau gimana..
mending menjauh dari pada berbuat dosa akibat bergunjing..

tapi ternyata eh ternyata..
kerasisan kami tidak berhenti sampai disini..
muncul lah berbagai kerasisan terhadap berbagai kebangsanegaraan yang lain..

orang ve (vietnam)..
kalo ngomong kayak ikan.. glug glug glug..
gitu...
bahkan ada yang kayak orang gagu lagi ngomong..
jahat memang..
tapi ya gimana..
pusing kalo udah harus berinteraksi dengan mereka..

orang pe-ha (pilipin)..
mereka punya gaya berpakaian yang aduh maaaaak...
suka maksa...
suka ndangdut...
kampring deh..
bahkan ada yang disebut sebagai polusi mata..
belum lagi mereka sangat bule minded..
kalo ngeliat bule matanya langsung juling.. langsung dideketin.. langsung digebet.. langsung dianggap sang bule lebih layak dijadikan teman daripada kita2 yang bermuka "eksotis" ini..
bikin males kan..

tapi ternyata kerasisan ini makin hari kian parah..
saya baru ngeh kalo ternyata kerasisan ini gak cuman terhadap orang negara lain...
tapi juga terhadap bangsa sendiri..
hal ini disadari ketika kami sedang melancong ke suanlum night bazaar kemarin..
kayaknya saat itu ada paling tidak satu bus berisikan turis2 indonesia yang sedang dijerumuskan kesana (kenapa dijerumuskan? karna harga disini sebenernya muahaaaal dibanding harga di chatuchak)
karna saat itu tiba2 kami bersinggungan dengan segerombolan orang2 berbahasa indonesia, jadilah saya nyeletuk "eh eh ada orang i' tuh"
sang teman langsung bingung..
dan akhirnya saya merevisi kalimat saya "indonesia maksudnya, bukan india"
dan jawaban yang saya dengar adalah "panteees.. soalnya tidak mencium bau2 a-es"..
again sodara2.. rasis.. ;p

kenapa bisa ya kita rasis sama saudara sendiri..
mungkin karna kelakuan sang sodara2 setanah air ini suka aneh2.. ajaib...
dan agak2 bikin gak nyaman...
jadi kembali lagi..
bukan salah kami..
anda saja yang suka bertindak serba berlebihan..
hehehe

gundah gulindang

2008-05-16T03:58:00.000-07:00

life is always about making choices..
sometimes, it is not possible for you to have the luxury of obtaining two things at the same time..
you have to make priorities..
and at the end, make sacrifices...

which one should i choose this time?
a wedding that only will be held once in my best best friend's life
or the opportunity to join a stupid conference (which if i still want to attend i will need to spend much much more money for the crazy price of air fare and not including the tight schedule.. sigh)

maybe you will say that this is actually an easy thing to decide...
but still, is it wrong if i want to have both of them...
to give my best effort in having both of them...

hey, life isn't always perfect just like the way you want it to be..
i think i really need to choose, and finnaly let one of my dream go...

aaah... masi gak relaaaaa....

hmmm...

2008-05-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

i think i've been good...
because my prayers are answered in the matter of seconds.. well.. not exactly seconds.. or maybe in minutes

or this is a sign that i should thank more
to the creator of this whole world..

alhamdulillah

take a deep breath

2008-05-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

inhale..
exhale...

lagi lagi..
kenapa perasaan ini mampir lagi..

mungkin karna salah saya yang sukanya bermain2 dengan api..
maklum.. cuaca lagi dingin.. jadi enak lah main api ;p

huah!!!!!
lagi lagi..
perasaan gundah menyeruak..
kangen..
tapi yang dikangenin lagi gak asik..

budaya timur

2008-05-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

segala perihal lulus2an ini emang bikin ribet.
bukan saya,
saya sendiri belum lulus..
tapi sebagai "junior student" ternyata kita berkeharusan buat membuat dan menyelenggarakan graduation party buat para senior yang sudah pada akan meninggalkan ait ini..

yang bikin ribet karena cuman sekitar 5orangan junior yang tersisa di kampus..
dan none of them willing to volunteer as the leader...
kao soal bantu2 sih mau.. tapi "not much".. gitu kata salah satu teman kita..
sigh..

kebetulan saya lagi dalam suasana "i'm sick of being the leader of the losers"
dan dalam situasi gak ada yang mau repot, hampir aja itu pesta terpaksa dibatalin..

anyway... singkat cerita, akhirnya kita jadi ngedain pesta dengan keadaan seadanya..
asal ada aja.. kalo kata Khun Jan..
cuman buat memuaskan para faculty members..

jadi lah saya dan teman serumah yang "you know who" sibuk berdua..
mendatangi para faculty members.. buat.. minta duit..
hehehe..

ntah..
ada satu kebiasaan yang menurut saya aneh di uem..
semua pesta bukan dibiayain dengan uang jurusan,
students juga gak ditagihin duit..
tapi yang membiayai adalah sang para faculty members, alias 5 dosen pengajar di uem..
"contribution", begitu istilahnya..
selama ini sih tiap dosen dimintain duit seribu baht per orang..
ini berlaku buat pesta graduation maupun welcome party (menyambut anak2 baru gitu)
aneh bukan?

nah karna kali ini saya dan niken yang bertugas untuk "nagihin" duit ke para dosen, jadi lah kita dengan sungkan2 mendatangi orang2 tersebut diatas..

korban pertama adalah sang advisor nya niken..
jinak orangnya ;p
sebagai tata krama ya kita nanya dulu time availabilitynya dia...
sambil dalam hati saya masi mencoba mencari kata2 yang pas buat minta duit..
eh tapi ternyata sang dosen bilang dia gak bisa dateng kalo tanggal dan waktu segitu..
tapi dia langsung nanya "berapa kontribusi dari tiap dosennya" (begitu terjemahan lepasnya :P)
oo.. baru tau kalo ternyata istilah yang mereka pake itu adalah "contribution", dan kayaknya karna udah menjadi tradisi jadi mereka langsung nyadar..
tampaknya tidak akan terlalu sulit untuk nagihinnya nih :D

nah.. korban kedua adalah sang kajur..
seorang laki2 yang sangat mengintimidasi lawan bicaranya..
"sir, kita kesini mau bilang kalo kita bakal ngadain graduation party tanggal 16 mei, jam 3 sore.. sir available gak"
"hmmm.. kayaknya available. dan kalian kesini mau minta kontribusi saya yah"
"tapi sir beneran bisa hari dan jam segitu"
dan dia langsung tertawa terbahak2 dan kemudian berkata
"dasar kalian bener2 den orang south east asia, sopan banget mau minta duit.. basa basi nya panjang.. coba kalo orang south asia, pasti dateng2 langsung bilang mo minta duit..."
sambil ngecek jadwal kegiatannya dia.. dan kemudian dia berkata lagi
"tapi kalo kita meski basa basi nya panjang tetep gak akan pergi kalo belum dapet duitnya yah" sambil kemudian tertawa lagi...

saya langsung berpikir...
apa iya yah..
apa kita itu sopan..
ato cuman gemar berbasa basi?
karna jujur aja saya gak nyaman disuru minta duit gitu..
dan kayaknya asa gak sopan gitu kucuk kucuk dateng langsung menadahkan tangan..

tapi dilain pihak..
kita basa2 bukan karna mau sok sok sopan..
tapi kayak emang udah seharusnya kayak gitu..
berasa udah normanya kayak gitu..
kebiasaan..
ato emang budaya timur yang sangat melekat..
iya gak sih..

hihihi.. ketularan niken...

2008-05-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

I took the "handwriting personality" quiz on gURL.com
		my handwriting personality is... jocular jotter Your self-confidence and ability to laugh at yourself (you know you're a big dork but you like it) attract lots of admirers and once in a while you get in trouble for being too over-the-top. Read more... What does your handwriting reveal about you?

hmmm...
apakah ini benar apa adanya?

Bingung

2008-05-12T03:08:00.000-07:00

kenapa ya di dunia ini ada orang kayak dia...

huah!!!

2008-05-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah..
akhirnya selese semua beban studi semester dua ini...
setelah melalui satu ujian dengan... hmmm... dibilang yakin banget si enggak.. cuman lumayan lah..
setelah melalui presentasi pengganti ujian dengan.. hmmm... gak pentingnya (hehehe, emang presentasi gak penting gitu)..
dan setelah akhirnya berhasil menyelesaikan tugas terakhir yang bakal dikumpul senen besok...
legaaaaaaaa....

sekarang..
waktu untuk mengisi pundi2 uang..
ada yang bisa ngasi kerjaan yang menhasilkan??

the dead bees

2008-05-05T05:42:00.000-07:00

aaaaah...
setres..
ini udah malem ketiga rumah diserbu lebah..

malam pertama, dua malam yang lalu...
cuman meratiin dari jendela kamar..
mereka menyerbu.. ingin mendobrak masuk si mosquito net..
cuman sekedar tau.. terus tutup tirai, dan tak tinggal tidur..

malam kedua.. kemaren malam..
teteup nyerbu kamar.. baru meratiin
ternyata buanyak...
diitung2 nyampe 15 biji bertengger...
ngegerombol bertiga tiga..
curiga berasa di sarang.. dan bikin madu...
ternyata pas keluar kamar...
banyak juga di jendela ruang tamu..
langsung histeris...
mau dibantai pake obat nyamuk takut alergi kumat, padahal ada detlain tugas.. gak jadi deh...
pagi2nya masi tersisa dua lebah bertengger.. dan pas agak siangan pergi sang kedua lebah itu..
lalu diluar terlihat satu lebah bertengger dikasa jendela dapur, dan satu lagi tergeletak mati segan hidup tak mampu dibawah kursi...
sroooot... dibasmi dengan BAYGON!!

malam ketiga.. ya malam ini..
para lebah datang lagi...
kali ini terlihat menyerbu dari seluruh jendela yang ada dirumah...
awalnya masih santai...
tapi ternyata terlihat seekor makhluk berterbangan mengelilingi lampu diruang tengah..
yup.. sebuah lebah super gede berhasil menerobos masuk..
masih cuek tuh...
berlenggang kangkung menuju kamar mandi.. buat mandi (detail yang gak penting)..
dan dikamar mandi itu lah berterbangan seekor lebah lagi..
mulai panik..
secara udah jam 10 malem.. gak lucu kalo gak jadi mandi..
akhirnya mutusin buat nunggu beberapa menit didalem kamar.. kali aja kedua lebah itu tau diri dan memutuskan buat pergi..
masih bertanya2 kebingungan..
dari manakah gerangan para lebah itu masuk..
secara semua lubang tertutup rapat..
sambil sesekali ngintip keluar kamar.. tiba2 terlihat seekor lebah kembali masuk dari sela2 kasa nyamuk di jendela ruang tengah..

seketika panik menyerang...
akhirnya setelah memantapkan diri..
kuambil baygon sebatang...
kusemproooooooot... kearah lampu...
berulang kali..
dan berulang kali..

satu tewas..
satu lagi rada susah dibasmi, soalnya guede, jadi mempunyai ketahanan lebih kuat..
target selanjutnya adalah yang dikamar mandi...
semprooot.. semprooot... semproooot...
akhirnya menyerah juga dia...

balik lagi ke ruang tengah...
semproooot... dan semprooooooot...
akhirnya semaput dan jatuh lunglai..
langsung gak disia2kan kesempatan itu...
bantaaaaaai....

fiuh...
masih memiliki napsu membunuh...
target selanjutnya yang dijendela kamar...
basmiiiiiii...
tewas semua..

lalu kejendela ruang tengah...
sikaaaaaaaat...
tewas juga (gak tau tewas gak tau pada kabur...)

dan gak lupa yang dijendela balkon..
abis sebeeel..
tadinya pengen nyuci bajutapi takut njemur keluar..
jadi ya bales dendam ajah..
hehehe...

begitu lah sodara2...
semua lebah resmi menghilang...
menyisakan beberapa mayat bergelimpangan diruang tengah...

this is one of them..

krisis

2008-05-03T00:25:00.000-07:00

huah..
harga2 sembako lagi pada naik..
sebut saja beras, minyak,
bahkan sampe roti bun berisikan tuna sukses naik 2 baht..
hiks...

tak sadar

2008-05-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

tengah malam baru sadar kalo tulisan kemaren sore tentang kaget itu dilatar belakangi oleh kekagetan saya sore2 melihat ada mas mas 'berenang' (ato berkubang yah?) di sungai yang melintas dibelakang rumah..
ceritanya abis nelpon kangmas itu saya iseng ngintip kejendela kamar...
kaget eh kaget.. kok ada orang lagi nyemplung..
dan ternyata orang itu lagi 'manen' ikan..
iya, ternyata disepanjang sungai yang tidak bersih itu terbentang seutas jaring ikan..
kok selama ini saya gak pernah liat ada yang masuk2 ke sungai itu yah..

- gambar kemaren sore -

dan ternyata pemandangan itu berulang tadi pagi..
setelah kangmas sukses mbangunin jam6an..
dengan alasan ingin menghirup udara pagi nan segar, nongkronglah didepan jendela..
dan mas2 yang berkubang itu ada lagi...
dan kok sekilas bajunya nampak sama yah..

- gambar tadi pagi -

hmmm..
masa selama ini gak nyadar sih kalo mas2 itu suka berkeliaran disungai?
aneh..

kaget

2008-05-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

tema hari ini: kaget

pagi-pagi (not exactly morning, sekitar jam 9 lah.. hihihi) bangun..
kaget..
karna khun khun tukang bebersih kamar udah dateng.. jadi deh keluar rumah lengkap dengan daster yang bikin penampakan kayak ibu2 beranak dua.. hahaha..
kenapa musti keluar rumah segala? teorinya, kalo gak disatronin kinerja si khun khun itu menjadi lebih tinggi.. sayangnya karna teteup ngerasa diburu2 jadi aja gak pol bebersihnya.. sigh..

abis mandi, hati senang, rencana selanjutnya mau ngeprint dan menghabiskan waktu dengan belajar buat ujian besok..
kaget..
dapet telpon, dari temen sekelompok buat tugas bikin gender training..
"put, udah liat imel temen kita yang satu lagi belom?" gitu kalo diterjemahin secara singkatnya..
dari nada bicaranya udah cemas gitu.. ternyata punya ternyata, si temen yang satu lagi itu memang bener2 b*****t.. dasar orang B!
langsung aja hari nan ceria jadi mendung..
kerjaan temen yang satu lagi gak beres, hancur berantakan..
padahal itu tugas buat dikumpul besok, dan udah bagian saya udah sengaja diselesein sejak senen dini hari (satu pagi) supaya gak ribet2 besok..
secara besok ujian SEA yang duuuuh.. bikin garuk2 kepala deh pokoknya
tapi ternyata takdir berkehendak lain..
sigh...

akhirnya melangkah lunglai dilengkapi dengan hati bergejolak penuh emosi ke lepkom buat ngeprin..
lalu kaget..
printernya ngadat..
padahal udah semaleman ngerangkum bahan buat diapalin buat ujian besok, gak lucu nih kalo gak jadi ngeprin..
mana hari ini libur jadi khun2 penjaga lepkomnya gak dateng..
hiks..
langsung kabur ke 39B, dan numpang ngeprin..
karna ternyata kertas disana abis, jadi deh pake kertas reuse..
gak papa lah..
kan biar environmentally friendly.. demi sustainable development.. looooh kok?!!
maklum, kebanyakan baca bahan SEA

karna jam sudah menunjukkan jam 12, maka diputuskan untuk mengisi perut dulu..
pulang2, mut belom bagus..
suasana hari ini mendung..
jadi ngantuk..
jadi aja mutusin buat bobo dulu..
rencana cuman bobo 45 menit, dari jam 2 kurang 15 sampe jam 2 lewat 30..
udah pasang alarm di hp...
ternyataaaaa...
kaget..
dibangunin sama niken..
dan terkaget2 karna udah jam4...
duh..
padahal dari awal direncanain jam4 mau nongkring di kolam bebek sambil makan somtam alias papaya salad.. yummy...
belajar pun kalah kalo dibandingin sama makan plus nongkring...
hehehe..
jadi lah setelah bersiap2 biar caem berangkat sepedahan sore2, alias sss..
menclok dikolam bebek..
kaget..
baru sadar kalo ada pipa yang menuju ke kolam bebek,
dan baru sadar kalo the famous tempat nongkring tersebut adalah sebuat wastewater treatment pond sodara2..
ilfil deeeh..
padahal suasananya enak banget..
belom lagi ngeliat beberapa anjing dengan asyik masyuk-nya mandi di kolam itu..
kebayang "nutrient2" yang tersangkut dibulu2 anjing2 itu.. dan lalu si anjing2 itu disayang2 sama orang T disini..
yuck!

pulang2 kangen sama kangmas.. nelpon deh..
terus berkeluh kesah tentang si temen orang B itu...
"aaaah benci banget sama temen sekelompok ku", gitu terjemahan singkatnya..
"aku juga benci sama temen sekelompok mu"
"loooh.. kok bisa?" bukannya menenangkan, nanya emang kenapa, ato ngebantuin nyela2 tu orang malah ngomong gitu,, aneh dasar..

"soalnya kamu benci sama dia"
kaget..
dasar laki2 bermulut manis...
tapi langsung terhibur digituin
dasar wanita... hihihi

begitulah sodara2..
untung masih diberikan jantung yang berdegup kuat..
dan mampu menerima semua kekagetan hari ini..
hehehe..
gak penting kah?

panik

2008-04-27T05:50:00.000-07:00

he was in a good mood today..
not only today, but several days lately..
walo sibuk, tapi gak sesensitip kemaren..
dan gak neko2..
gak nganeh2..
dan tetap made my day meaningful..

tapi tadi waktu makan malam..
dia berhasil membuat saya panik.
masa dia bilang mau melihara jenggot!
ah yang bener aje!
i thought he likes a clean shaved..

why.. oh why..
duh..
kebayang bakal kayak apa ntar dia..
sekarang aja muka hasil gak cukuran beberapa harinya udah bikin ilfil.
ampuuun!
saya harus berhasil meyakinkan dia untuk tidak berbuat!

panik mode ON

hujan

2008-04-22T13:01:00.000-07:00

hujan semalam bener2 bagai setetes embun di padang pasir...

aku bagai seekor katak yang melompat lompat gembira menyambut datangnya sang hujan..
karna hujan yang turun membuat suasana malam itu menjadi suejuk...
meski sekitar jam 2, ditengah rintik hujan yang masih mengguyur, baru teringat kalau terdapat tiga onggok pakaian terjemur diluar sana, yang dengan suksesnya kotor lagi dan harus dicuci ulang esok pagi..
sudahlah.. tak apa..
hati ini terlalu gembira menyambut hujan..

beberapa hari belakangan aku selalu terbangun ditemani peluh..
namun tidak hari ini..

terbangun pagi pagi,
diawali dengan telpon yang menyuruh untuk solat subuh..
dan diikuti perbincangan beberapa puluh menit..
dan diakhiri dengan menyantap mi goreng indomi yang dijual disini (yang diimport abis.. hiks)
cukup menyegarkan..

now it's time to continue working with the assignments!
sigh..
menghela napas..

api lilin

2008-04-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

semangat mengerjakan tugas2 bagai nyala lilin..
redup..
dan sesekali bergoyang2 kekanan dan kekiri, bahkan sesekali hampir mati..
dihempas godaan godaan yang datang bertubi2..
sebut saja segala godaan yang internet-base, film yang udah siap sedia ditonton, maupun rasa kantuk yang selalu menggayut.

namun tetap berpijar..
karna selalu ada bahan bakar yang membuatnya terus menyala..
teman2..
keluarga..
dan kangmas..

3 hari sebelum bisa sedikit bernapas lega..
ganbatte kudasai!!

siyal part 2

2008-04-21T07:27:00.000-07:00

berasa gak cukup menderita ini idup...

tengah malem,
perut kriuk kriuk...

langsung bikin rencana,
ngerebus air, masukin telor, cemplungin emih, tunggu hingga matang, lalu tiriskan..
kemudian gunakan wajan yang sama, panaskan minyak, goreng fish rugby..

dibikin lah emi goderng indomi asli di impor dari indonesia...
begitu air mendidih, dicemplungin lah seonggok telur...

anjriiit!!!!
ternyata telornya busuk, langsung aja menebar bau tak sedap...
dan dengan suksesnya ngotorin itu wajan...

duh padahal telornya baru dibeli beberapa hari yang lalu di wan o eit..
disimpen dikulkas juga..

siyal!

siyal!

2008-04-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

Anjrit maneh!!!

may be it wont be the same after all..
hopeless..
sigh..