amazingly

it is amazing how i can survive this day..
watching you holding her hand..
watching you hugging her shoulder..
watching you throwing jokes to her..
watching you teasing her..
watching you wishpering words to her ears..
watching you planning your future dreams with her..
and watching your eyes staring her eyes deeply..
watching you both..

it is amazing how i can still smile..
sincerely..

it is amazing how i can accept the fact that you will never be mine..
yes, i know you will never be mine..
i realize that i only had you in that precious moment we spent together..
when you really give your heart to me..
or are you really?
and when another fact raise up this evening,
that i am really not having yours.. really making me realize that i will never be with you..
i keep watching your back.. walking in front of me.. next to her..
and i know there is no way back for you, for her, for him, and for me..

i keep repeating that magical moment i spent with you in my mind..
i keep visualizing it over and over again..
until i remember every minutes and even every second we spent..
when the world is all ours..
when we dont care about others than we..
when i still keep believing that
it couldnt be her..
and it couldnt be yours..

but it is her..
and it is yours..
and they will have you for the rest of their lives..
and not me..

it is feels like im babysitting two grown ups (quoting you, min)
and i keep saying that this is enough..
and i dont want any of this again..
but i cant..
i cant get away from this melodrama telenovela thingy..

oh God..
what have i made my self trapped into..
sigh..